Dear Queenie,

  How do I break up a friendship with someone I just don’t have anything in common with anymore? I’m married and have a child and I just got a job that keeps me too busy to do anything but go to work and then go home and take care of my child.

  Queenie, how do I tell them I care about their friendship but it has to end?—Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed,

  Tell them in a caring way how much you value their friendship, but for the time being, between your job and your family, you just do not have time for them. But do not cut them off entirely. It may very well happen that eventually, as you settle into your job and your child grows older, you will be able to find more time for your friend.

Dear Queenie,

  My (second) husband and I have been married for several years, since before COVID-19, and he has been a wonderful father to my kids from my first marriage, but I’m just not in love with him anymore and I think he’s feeling the same way about me.

  Queenie, would it be a terrible thing for the kids to have to go through their mother’s second divorce?—Unhappy mother

Dear Mother,

  Before you think about getting divorced, you and your husband should do everything you can to try to fix whatever is not right in your marriage. Professional marriage counselling for both of you, separately and/or together, would help.

  If divorce becomes inevitable, you and their stepfather must do everything you can to keep it on as good terms as possible and to make your children understand that it is not happening because of anything to do with them and that both you and their stepfather will always love them.

  And I hope you and their stepfather will arrange for him to see the children at least occasionally, so they will not feel that he has abandoned them completely.

Dear Queenie,

  My daughter is a good worker and she has a job to support herself, but her boyfriend has never worked at anything, not while he was in school or since he graduated from college.

  They have been living with his parents and now they are planning to get married and they want me to pay for the wedding. I’m sure they love each other, but I think she shouldn’t marry this guy until he has had a job for a good while and has proved that he can take care of her and any children they might have.

  Queenie, what do you think?—Worried father

Dear Father,

  I think you have every reason to be worried. Tell them they will have to pay for the wedding themselves. It should give them a good introduction to financial reality, assuming – no, hoping – that her boyfriend’s parents do not step in financially.

  Later on, if the marriage lasts and they start thinking about buying a home, you can give them the money you might have spent on their wedding to help with the down payment.

Dear Queenie,

  A relative of mine went to work for my family doctor and I wanted to make sure they would not see my medical records so I requested that my records be kept safe in a way that my relative would not be able to see them. The doctor’s staff said they get many such requests and it would be done.

  Now my relative is making a big fuss about this, claiming they almost got fired and saying all sorts of nasty things about me.

  Queenie, how do I deal with this – and with my relative?—Private patient

Dear Patient,

  It is a good thing you requested that your records be kept safe. How could your relative know about it unless they tried unsuccessfully to access your records? Tell your family that this is standard procedure in the doctor’s office and you did not say anything about your relative to the doctor or his/her staff.

  Eventually the fuss in your family will come to an end, but your relationship with that one relative may never be the same.