My husband has been transferred in his job several times and each time we have had to move to a new place to live. We have lived in the same place for about 5 years, since before the COVID-19 pandemic, but now he is being transferred again.
Our younger (pre-teen) son hasn’t had any problem with all the moving. He seems to adjust to new places very well, but our teenager doesn’t want to leave all the friends he has in school.
My husband is willing to go ahead of us, get settled in the new place, and wait for our son to finish high school before we join him there, but I don’t want to have our family separated (or have to cope with living with a teenager without my husband there to help).
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Can’t decide
Dear Can’t decide,
Do not let your family be separated. Your older son can stay in touch with his old friends via social media and will have plenty of opportunity to make new friends in your new home.
I wish you good luck with your move and in your new home.
Dear Queenie,
I have been having an affair for a couple of years with a friend from high school who is married to someone else. Recently we haven’t been seeing each other so often and he keeps making excuses for it. I think maybe he has found another girlfriend and is cheating on me with her.
Queenie, should I let his wife know what has been going on and what is happening now?—The other woman
Dear Other woman,
If your lover would break his marriage vows and cheat on his wife, what makes you think he would not cheat on you? After all, he has not made any such commitment to you.
If you want to have it out with your lover, by all means do so, but why punish his wife for what he may have done to you?
Dear Queenie,
I have a good education and a good job and I’m good-looking and I keep fit, but I still feel like I have to compete with my girlfriend’s ex-husband who is really handsome and has a great career and high income.
I know there were reasons she divorced him and they don’t have anything to do with each other anymore, but I’m still jealous of him.
Queenie, why is this and how do I get over it?—The new guy in her life
Dear New guy,
Keep reminding yourself that there must have been good reasons for their breakup, and she was the one who got the divorce and then got together with you.
Also remember that looks (and good health) can fade, but a good personality is what really matters.
Dear Queenie,
My mother wants to have a family portrait taken on her 50th birthday, which is I think is a fine idea, but she wants all of us to dress alike in colors that I do not like and don’t look good in.
Queenie, how can I get her to let me dress well for the picture?—Reluctant daughter
Dear Daughter,
It is your mother’s landmark birthday. Why not go along with what she wants as your gift to her? Perhaps you can find some small accessory that will make you feel better about how you look in the picture.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s mother is a wonderful mother-in-law and I love her, but she wants me to call her “Mom” which is what I call my own mother and I don’t think it would be right.
Queenie, what do you think?—Daughter-in-law
Dear Daughter-in-law,
I think your mother-in-law wants to feel close to you and it would not hurt you to have two “Moms” in your life. However, if you are not comfortable with this, try to find another similar name for her, such as “Mama” or “Mommy”. And be glad that she wants to be on such good terms with you.
