Dear Queenie,
I am careful to keep to a normal weight, but my husband has gotten very, very, very, hugely fat and refuses to talk to me about anything that has to do with his weight, like exercising and watching what he eats, and he hangs out with a bunch of friends who are also very fat.
Queenie, I worry about his health. What can I do?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Because your husband’s friends are also hugely overweight, they all probably think they are of normal size and there is no way you can force him to think differently.
A physical check-up might help, because he might listen to his doctor when he will not listen to you, but there is not much you can do beside making sure that the food in your home is as nutritious and non-fattening as possible. It might help if you can get him to do any physical activity, like taking a walk with you after eating a meal.
Dear Queenie,
My son and his wife just had a baby boy, my first grandchild. I want to see the baby as often as I can for as long as I can, and even babysit now and then, but I don’t want to intrude.
Queenie, what is a reasonable schedule for visitation?—New Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
There is no set answer to your question. Talk to your son and daughter-in-law and try to work out a schedule that is comfortable for all of you. It will help if you can stay on the best terms possible with the baby’s mother.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s ex-wife says nasty things about us to his grown-up children, so we do not want to include her when we have family events. However, they seem to think that because she is single and “alone” she should be included whenever they all get together.
Queenie, how do we handle this?—Annoyed stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
Apparently your stepchildren still have a good relationship with their mother. Be kind. You do not have to include her all the time, but do so once in a while.
Dear Queenie,
I don’t like to be touched by anyone and I hate having sex. I put up with it for my boyfriend’s sake but even with him I don’t like it and I know he can tell and I’m just glad he still stays with me.
Queenie, what’s wrong with me?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Sex should be something you can enjoy. If you do not like being touched at all you may have psychological or sensory problems that need to be considered. Talk to your doctor about this and ask to be referred to an appropriate counsellor.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s boyfriend is a real loser. He quit school, drinks and smokes too much, doesn’t have a job and tries to control everything she does.
Queenie, why would a girl from a good family choose such a loser? How can we keep her from making a big mistake by sticking with him?—Worried father
Dear Father,
Your daughter may have the idea that she can “fix” what is wrong with this guy.
Do not alienate her by trying to make her choose between him and your family. Hopefully she will eventually get tired of this man’s bad attributes – and if/when that happens, try not to tell her you told her so.
