Dear Queenie,

Every day I wake up and I just know it’s going to be another boring day. I’m so sick of everything – the things I do, the people I see, my job, my house, it’s all same old same old. This is such a small island, there’s nothing new or interesting any more.

Queenie, is this normal? And what can I do about it?—Bored to death

Dear Bored to death,

It’s normal to feel that way now and then. But small as this island is, you can’t possibly know everyone who lives here.

Try to get involved in some new activities, preferably ones where you will meet some new people. Go to the library, find some new books to read, do some research about the various non-profit organisations on the island, find some new interest. Take a course, or more than one, at University of St. Martin.

Join a service club, volunteer at the hospital or for some other worthy cause. The best way to get over being bored is to think less about yourself and more about other people.

Dear Queenie,

I am a girl about 15 years old and I have something on my mind that is really scaring me. Whenever a friend starts talking about their other friends I find myself getting somewhat jealous or annoyed. Sometimes I’ll think that the other person is not a good friend.

I feel like I am being a bad person by thinking these things and that I myself am not a good friend. At times I’ll be fine with it, but then at other times I’ll be thinking “Shut up.” I am kind of scaring myself by having these internal reactions to others’ talk of friends.

I have many friends myself so I’m not jealous they have many others too. I often get these reactions around a very close friend of mine. Could it be because I am afraid of them departing/moving away like many of my other friends have moved to Holland or that their other friends will steal them from me?

Queenie, please clarify this for me.—Afraid of Myself

Dear Afraid of Myself,

Children live in an egocentric world. That is, they tend to feel that the world revolves around themselves, or should. As they grow up they learn not to put themselves first all the time, and to feel empathy and compassion for others.

You are in adolescence, a stage somewhere between childhood and maturity. Sometimes you react like a child, even though your growing maturity tells you it is wrong.

Losing someone for whom you care is difficult at any age. Having lost a number of friends has probably made you extra-sensitive to the possibility of losing another.

And, yes, you probably are a little jealous.

Dear Queenie,

I’ve been living with my boyfriend for a couple of years. Last year I had a little fling with another guy. My boyfriend found out about it after a while, but didn’t want to break up with me.

I decided to stay with my boyfriend because he has a real good job and I can’t support myself on my own, and the other guy said if that was what I was going to do, we should stop seeing each other, but I’m really in love with him and I miss him something awful.

Queenie, would it be all right for me to call him?—I miss him so much

Dear Miss,

Let’s see. You are living with one guy because he is supporting you, or at least helping you out financially, but you’re in love with another guy and had an affair with him. There are several words to describe your behaviour, none of them very complimentary.

The man you are living with is incredibly generous, in my opinion. And the other one may have called it off with you when he discovered what your priorities are.

And, no, it would not be all right to call guy #2 as long as you are living with guy #1, which may be another reason why guy #2 called it quits with you.

Dear Queenie,

I am a college student living on my own. I share an apartment with another girl and we are supposed to share the housework. The problem is, she is a lousy housekeeper and I end up having to do her work over again on top of my own chores.

Queenie, this isn’t fair! Any suggestions?—Overworked student

Dear Overworked student,

Have you discussed this problem with your roommate? And have you tried to show her how to do the work properly?

If that doesn’t work, why don’t the two of you try taking turns doing the various household chores? Do the work your way on your days and let her do it her way on her days. That way each job will be done to your satisfaction at least half the time.

One final thought: Is it possible that you are a “neat freak” and your roommate’s work is not really “lousy”, but just not up to your excessively high standards? If that is the case, you might want to try lightening up about it. Your doing so would ease the pressure on both of you.