Dear Queenie,
I have a job that keeps me busy all day and after work all I want to do is rest. However, I have a friend who is a non-working mother who feels free to call me to chat any time she feels like it. Sometimes when I am at work I can take time out to talk to her, but sometimes I just have too much work to do or I’m doing something that has to get done right away, and at night sometimes I’m just too tired to talk to her.
Queenie, how do I make her understand?—Working woman
Dear Working woman,
Believe me, all mothers are “working women” – taking care of their child(ren) and their homes – even if they do not have paid outside employment.
As for your friend, when you are too tired or too busy to chat feel free to tell her so (politely, please) and cut the conversation short, or, if you know she is the one who is calling you, to just not answer the phone.
Dear Queenie,
My husband died a few years ago and after a long period of mourning I started going out with a man a friend introduced me to and then some other friends introduced me to some other men and when they asked me out I started going out with them too.
I have told them all that I do not intend to get married again, I just enjoy spending some time with them and doing things together now and then. They all were married before too, and now they are divorced or their wives died a while ago, and we all have children and grandchildren and, like me, they are just looking for someone to do things with.
Some of my friends think it is not right for me to be seeing so many men and not getting into any kind of relationship with any one of them.
Queenie, are they right?—Lonely widow
Dear Widow,
No, they are not right. As long as you and these men understand each other’s intentions clearly, you all have every right to date anyone you wish.
Dear Queenie,
We (my husband and I) have dinner out with a bunch of friends a couple of times a month. One of the other wives always flirts with my husband. She hugs him and wants to dance with him and makes sexy comments to him and my husband seems to like it. He says he’s never cheated on me and he just doesn’t want to be rude to her.
Queenie, how do I deal with all this?—Fed-up wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband should make it clear to this woman that he is not interested in her “attention”. If he cannot (or will not) do this, I suggest professional counselling to help him learn how to do so and help you learn how to deal with the situation.
Dear Queenie,
I have seen people making a memorial at the place where someone died in an accident. If it was a child they will leave toys and stuffed animals and dolls. Then these things stay out in all the weather and get spoiled.
Queenie, wouldn’t it be better to donate these things to some charity that would give them to living children in memory of the deceased?—In mourning for a lost one
Dear In mourning,
That is an excellent idea. I wish I had thought of it and I hope my readers will follow up on it.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend still keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriends and helps them out with things like taking care of their pets when they go away, or fixing things in their homes. On the other hand, I have one ex-husband and we have a daughter who lives with me and visits her father quite often.
I have never said anything to my boyfriend about his exes, but when my daughter wanted to invite her father to her birthday party with our family my boyfriend had a fit. He said my ex isn’t part of my family anymore.
Queenie, what do you say?—Caught in the middle
Dear Caught,
I say it was your daughter’s party and her father is still part of her family, even though he is not part of yours anymore, and your boyfriend needs to accept that fact.
I also say you should be concerned about the way your boyfriend wants to have contact with whomever he chooses, but does not want to allow you the same privilege.
