Dear Queenie,
A few years after our daughter was born I found out my husband was cheating on me and we ended up getting divorced and I have custody of our daughter. I’m trying to do the right thing and if I start playing around I could lose custody, but I miss having someone besides a child to share my life with.
Queenie, what can I do?—Lonely mother
Dear Mother,
There is no reason you cannot have a social life, but, as you say, within reason because of your child. If friends and family do not offer you social outlets, consider joining a community-service organisation that will give you something productive to do and will also offer some social outlets. Eventually, if you are lucky, you will meet someone to share your life with in a way that will be socially and legally acceptable.
Dear Queenie,
My husband likes to play video games and every night after dinner he goes to the computer to play while I sit and watch TV and check my phone. I don’t have fun doing this and I would like to go out and do things but he says all the things I want to do cost too much money.
Queenie, what can I do to make things better?—Bored housewife
Dear Housewife,
After working all day your husband probably just wants to relax, but perhaps you can schedule things to do on the weekends. If necessary, make a budget so that you can afford to go out together at least a couple of times per month.
Dear Queenie,
Sometimes my husband doesn’t zip up his fly all the way, or even forgets to zip it up at all.
Queenie, should I try to do something about this or just ignore it? And what about when we’re in public and people are noticing?—Embarrassed wife
Dear Wife,
If this is a recent (mis)behaviour, make sure your husband sees his doctor for a check-up and make sure the doctor knows what is worrying you.
Meanwhile, work out a signal with your husband to tell him in public that his fly is open, or, if necessary, take him aside and tell him to zip it up.
Dear Queenie,
My next door neighbor has a part-time job (just a couple of days a week) at an office next to where I work, so on the days they work they also drive me to work, because I don’t have a driver’s license.
I work full-time (five days a week) and on the days my neighbor doesn’t work one of the people I work with picks me up on their way to work and takes me home at the end of the day, and I pay them for doing it because they have to go out of their way for me, but I don’t pay my neighbor because they don’t have to go out of their way for me.
Recently when we had to stop for gas my neighbor asked me to help pay for the gas.
Queenie, is this fair? It’s not as if taking me to work costs them anything extra and I’m on a tight budget.—Car pool Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Your neighbour is doing you a favour and if they stop you will have to make other arrangements which probably will cost you a lot more than the gas money they asked you for. Ask your neighbour how much they want you to pay and if it is more than you can afford try to work out a compromise.
Dear Queenie,
A couple of years ago I had an affair with someone where I work. It’s been over for more than a year, but recently he started showing interest in starting up with me again. I’m married now and I just don’t want to get involved with him again at all.
Queenie, how do I make him understand that I’m just not interested any more?—Ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
You may have to spell your feelings out to this Romeo in simple terms, and if your husband ever picks you up from work, find a way to let Romeo see him and maybe even introduce them to each other. If necessary, you may have to report this to Human Resources, if your workplace has such a department.
