Dear Queenie,
I recently met a man who seems to be a good, smart person that a lot of people like. However, he always wants me to do things his way and won’t listen to what I think about it.
He thinks women should stay at home and take care of the house and family and do what they are told and that they are “dirty” when they get their menstruation period.
Queenie, he says he loves me, but I am wondering if I should get in a relationship with him. What do you advise?—St. Maarten woman
Dear St. Maarten woman,
I do not advise getting into any kind of relationship with this man. He will want to boss you around and will have no respect for you, just because you are a woman. Case in point: he will think you are “dirty” whenever you have your period.
I suspect the people who like him are those who do not know him very well.
Dear Queenie,
I volunteer with a group that has a Halloween party every year and used to give a prize for the best costume. Last year they stopped giving prizes because someone had joined the group who is a professional artist and costume-maker and they didn’t think it was fair for them to compete or to be left out.
This year they are saying they won’t have the contest at all and we are all so disappointed.
Queenie, we all love getting dressed up. What do you suggest?—Missing the fun
Dear Missing,
Hold the contest, but ask the professional artist and costume-maker to be a judge, not a competitor.
Dear Queenie,
When I found out my daughter and her boyfriend were having sex with each other, I made sure they know about “safe sex” and gave them some condoms. Pretty soon – a lot too soon – my daughter asked me for more and when I asked how they could have run out so fast she told me she had been sharing them with her girlfriends.
Queenie, condoms aren’t cheap and much as I want to help prevent an unwanted pregnancy, I don’t want to be supplying them for other people’s children. What should I do?—Worried Mother
Dear Mother,
Youngsters who are old enough to be having sex are not children anymore, and should be responsible for their own behaviour and the possible results thereof. Refer them to whatever organisation(s) in your community deal with and provide information about safe sex.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have 3 kids. I try to be reasonably strict with them about things like what food they eat and what they can watch on TV and what time they go to bed, but my husband lets them eat whatever junk food they want and stay up until all hours watching anything and everything on TV.
Then he says the kids don’t listen to what he tells them so I have to make them do what they are told.
Queenie, I don’t like being “mean Mommy”. Is there anything I can do about it?—Mean Mommy
Dear Mommy,
Your husband apparently does not understand the responsibilities of parenthood. Are parenting classes available where you live, or can you get your husband a book on good parenting or perhaps arrange for him to have some sessions with an expert on good parenting? Perhaps even his own parents could explain some of this to him.
Dear Queenie,
I have been sick recently and I still haven’t completely recovered. It wasn’t anything contagious, but I still haven’t got all my strength back.
The problem is my husband’s family wants to come and visit for about a week and I just don’t feel strong enough to deal with guests staying in our home, but my husband doesn’t want to ask them to stay at a hotel.
Queenie, maybe I should go to a hotel while they’re here? What do you think?—Unwilling hostess
Dear Hostess,
I assume your husband’s family knows about your recent illness, but if not, they should be told right away. It should also be explained to them that you are still recovering and therefore they are requested to plan to stay somewhere else, not in your home, for the sake of your good health.
If they cannot (or will not) do so, then I agree that you should arrange to stay somewhere else while they are visiting and spend only as much time with them as your medical condition will allow, again making it clear to them that you are not just trying to avoid them.
