Dear Queenie,
My wife and I are not able to conceive a child so we are planning to adopt the child of an unmarried mother who is planning to give her baby up for adoption as soon as it is born.
Queenie, when should we announce this to our family, and is it proper for us to have a baby shower?—Expectant father
Dear Expectant father,
Because of the special circumstances, I suggest you tell your family and friends about it in person. I am sure a relative or a friend will want to hold a baby shower for you.
Dear Queenie,
My husband counts the number of times per month we have sex and says it’s not enough, it should be more.
Queenie, is that normal?—Feeling pressured
Dear Feeling pressured,
It sounds rather juvenile to me. I think the quality of your sex life should be more important than the numbers.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been going together for more than 2 years and now she wants us to have a joint checking account. I don’t want to do this, but when I keep on refusing and try to explain why, she just gets mad at me.
Queenie, am I wrong? And if I’m right, how do I make her understand?—Careful boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
You absolutely right. You should not have a joint account with her if you are not married to her. Why should she want you to do this, unless she just always wants to do what she wants, or just wants to get her hands on your money?
If you are even thinking about doing what she wants you to do, talk to a lawyer and a financial consultant before you go any further.
Dear Queenie,
My neighbors’ teenage daughter always comes to my house when my pre-school-age grandchildren are visiting me. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and I know she is lonesome and I don’t want to offend her, but she butts in on my time with my grandchildren.
Queenie, how can I get her to stay away?—Annoyed grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
Does your neighbour girl have a grandmother of her own? Maybe she is just trying to get a feel for what this kind of relationship is like.
Do not shut her out, but make her limit the frequency of her visits. And maybe if you ever need a babysitter it could be her (assuming you would trust her alone with your grandchildren)?
Dear Queenie,
I am very fat and my son has been after me to lose weight. He has been smoking since he was in his teens and I have been after him to quit, so I told him I would go on a diet if he would stop smoking.
Queenie, do you think this is a fair trade?—His mother
Dear Mother,
Absolutely! Both smoking and obesity are unhealthy conditions. Good luck to both of you!
