Dear Queenie,
The grown-up daughter of a friend of mine recently died in a car accident. My friend, who lives away from here with her new husband, did not come to her daughter’s funeral.
Queenie, shouldn’t I be shocked?—Shocked friend
Dear Friend,
Is it possible that your friend and her daughter were estranged? Or your friend may have health or financial problems that prevented her from travelling.
Let your friend know that you were surprised by her absence. If she explains, all well and good, but let it go at that.
Dear Queenie,
I see letters to advice columns complaining that people do not send thank you notes for gifts they receive.
My wife and I are older, grandparents and even great-grandparents. Once we learned to use our cell phones for texting this wasn’t a problem any more.
Queenie, you tell them!—Contented grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
Here it is. Thank you for your suggestion.
Dear Queenie,
My wife gets mad if someone, especially children, starts to eat before she has put all the food on the table.
Queenie, she said she was going to write to you about this, so here it is. What do you say?—Dinner-time Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I think it is not realistic to expect a hungry person, especially a child, not to eat if there is food right in front of them, except at a formal dinner party. Children should learn proper table manners, but keep it within reason.
Dear Queenie,
I have a good job and have to dress well for it. My wife is a stay-at-home mother.
I need to buy good clothes to wear for my job, but my wife gets mad about the money I spend on them when she can’t get the new clothes she wants.
Queenie, what do you say about this?—Her husband
Dear Husband,
If this is a financial problem, I recommend professional financial advice.
If the problem is not, or is more than, financial, I recommend professional marriage counselling.
Dear Queenie,
I have three daughters. One of them is grown up and out on her own, one is in high school and one is in second grade.
I spend an occasional night with my boyfriend, leaving my youngest daughter with one of her sisters which she seems to enjoy, but I would like to spend a whole weekend with him or even go with him on a short vacation, but based on how things were for him growing up, he says I shouldn’t be away from my youngest daughter for that long.
Queenie, how can I convince him that it would be okay?—I need a break
Dear I need a break,
Explain to your boyfriend how different things are in your family from the way things were for him when he was a child.
Your boyfriend may have other reasons for not spending more time with you and you need to find out what those reasons are, because I think you need to know a lot more about him.
