Dear Queenie,
My parents are very religious. They took me to church every Sunday and they always say grace before every meal and say prayers when they go to bed and whenever they have to make a decision they pray first for guidance.
However, I don’t feel as religious as they are and when I tried to tell them about it they were very upset and then they told me I was just going through a phase and I would get over it, but I’m not getting over it.
Queenie, how can I get them to understand that I’m not as religious as they are and this is just who I am, and if I can’t get them to accept this as a fact, where can I get some support?—Agnostic son
Dear Son,
Thank your parents for the job they have done in raising you and tell them you hope they will continue to love you even though you are not as devout as they are.
Then seek professional counselling. It is possible that your family’s pastor can recommend someone who will counsel you without subjecting you to religious persuasion. If that is not the case, ask your family doctor to recommend a non-religious counsellor.
Dear Queenie,
My little brother and I were always close, but since I went away to college and only see my family on weekends and vacations things have changed. I tried to talk to him about this but he told me I was just being stupid.
My mother says he is just being a teenager and he is like this with everyone, but it makes me so sad.
Queenie, what can I do about this?—Sad big brother
Dear Big brother,
Your brother is growing up and his behaviour is part of that process, Also, he may feel abandoned because you left him and went away to college.
Accept his behaviour for now. Things should get better as he grows older.
Dear Queenie,
My son is talking about getting married to a girl he has never met in person. He only knows her through the Internet, phone calls and texting, and we happen to know that she has lied to him about a couple of things.
Queenie, what can we do about this?—Worried parents
Dear Parents,
Tell your son you want to meet this girl and her family in person and get to know them all better. Doing so should give you all a chance to get to know her and to find out more about what she has lied about, and may bring your son “down to earth” again.
Dear Queenie,
We have a cat that my children and I love, but my husband, their father, doesn’t and he is mean to her and sometimes mistreats her. I have told the kids that what he does is wrong but I’m afraid they will grow up thinking this kind of thing is okay.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Love my pet
Dear Love my pet,
Find a good home for your cat as soon as you can. Explain to the children that you did so because the cat was not safe around their father.
And think about this: A man who mistreats animals might very well also mistreat children if they do something to vex him.
Dear Queenie,
When a close relative died a few years ago her mother gave me some of her clothes, including a fancy dress. Now I have been invited to her son’s wedding.
Queenie, would it be okay for me to wear that dress for the occasion? Sort of as if the person it used to belong to is there in spirit.—Dressed-up Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I think that is a touching idea.
If anyone recognises the dress, tell them what you have told me, that you thought it would let the former owner be there in spirit. Hopefully they will understand and agree.
