Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend is always losing things like his keys or his wallet or his cell phone. I have suggested that he always keep them in the same place when not using them, but either he doesn’t do it or if he does, it doesn’t work.
Queenie, I’m so tired of searching for his things. Is there anything more I can do?—Fed-up girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend does not do this on purpose and probably is just as fed up as you are. Your boyfriend needs to learn to slow down and think about what he is doing when he puts these things down. Professional counselling might help him learn to organise his thinking a bit better.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and a group of his friends have formed a sort of “club” that meets at the men’s homes a couple of times a week. One of the men, who is sort of the leader of the group, says these meetings are for the men only and the women – their wives! – should not be there when the men get together and should leave the house and go somewhere else when the men are meeting.
My husband doesn’t agree with all that, but he is close friends with the other men in the group and doesn’t want to just quit.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Excluded wives
Dear Wives,
My first, obvious, suggestion is that the group should meet at a coffee shop or restaurant instead the members’ homes.
The next suggestion is that the wives have their own get-together – somewhere else! – when the men are meeting.
Also, the wives should stop preparing any refreshments for the men’s meetings. Let the men make their own preparations, or order take-out.
Dear Queenie,
How old should a child be to stop sleeping in the same bed with their grandparents? My daughter is 5 and when she stays with my husband’s parents overnight they have her sleep with them.
Queenie, do you think this is okay?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Unless you have reason to think your daughter is being molested during these “sleepovers”, I do not think you have anything to worry about. I suspect it is happening because the grandparents do not have an extra bed for your daughter to sleep in, or because she is afraid of sleeping alone in what is to her a strange place.
Eventually your daughter will not accept these sleeping arrangements. Be prepared to offer to get her grandparents another bed for her to sleep in, or at least a separate sleeping bag or air mattress.
Dear Queenie,
There are couple of people I have been close friends with since we were kids, but recently I have been hearing about things they have been doing that I haven’t been included in. I hear about them from other friends or see them posted on Facebook.
I even sat alone on New Year’s Eve while they were out celebrating. When I asked one of them why they didn’t call me to join them, she said they didn’t plan on it, they just happened to meet up when they were leaving work.
Queenie, why didn’t they call or text me to come join them? Would that have been too much to ask if I had known anything about what was going on?—Forsaken former friend
Dear Former friend,
Apparently you and your (former) friends have drifted apart. It is time for you to start getting involved in activities where you will keep busy, meet a lot of people and make new friends.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a man almost 30, but I still live with my parents because they need me to help them around the house and with some health problems they have. I have finished college and have my degree and a part-time job, but I don’t feel like I have done very much with my life.
Queenie, how can I stop feeling like a loser?—Adult son still living with parents
Dear Adult Son,
You are not a loser, you have done quite a bit with your life: You have earned your degree, you hold a job and you take care of your parents. It might help if you talk this over with a professional counsellor who can give you some perspective on your questions about yourself.
