Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 40s and I’m still single because I’ve never been able to meet the right person for me.
Queenie, what can I do about this?—Lonely single person
Dear Lonely,
Think about your appearance, your personality, what you expect from other people and the kind of people you tend to like. Ask friends and family how you come across to the people you are trying to attract, as they will see things about you that you may not be aware of, and be prepared to hear things you do not like. Try taking some college classes and/or doing some volunteer work with a community service organisation, which will give you a chance to meet other people and to become a more interesting person.
Dear Queenie,
My long-time live-in girlfriend had a little boy when I met her and I have come to love the child as if he were my own. His real father has never been around at all.
My girlfriend developed some serious health problems and she died recently.
Queenie, I am arranging to adopt her son, but since we were never married, how do I explain our relationship to strangers when they ask?—Still in mourning
Dear In mourning,
Tell them the boy’s mother was your long-time partner or girlfriend, or your significant other, and that you love her son as though he were your own, as he soon will be through adoption.
Dear Queenie,
My mother and my stepfather got divorced because he had an affair and was not faithful to her.
He was always a good father to me and a good grandfather to my children and he wants to stay involved with us even if not with my mother.
Queenie, I want to be loyal to my mother. What can I do?—Confused stepson
Dear Stepson,
Tell your mother’s ex that you still appreciate everything he has done for you and your children, and that you will stay in touch with him, but that you will not be seeing him on any occasion when your mother is present.
Dear Queenie,
Now that our children are grown up and out on their own my wife and I are moving into a smaller home. We have everything we need – clothes, furniture, etc. – and don’t need more stuff, and when people give us things we don’t need we donate them to charities.
Queenie, how do we explain to everyone that we would rather get a gift certificate to a restaurant or tickets to some event?—Fed-up new-home owner
Dear Homeowner,
Tell people what you have told me – that you have everything you need – and if they are planning to give you a gift and ask what you would want, tell them what you would like to receive or ask them to make a donation to a charity in your name. And if they still give you something you do not want, thank them for it and then donate it yourself.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-boyfriend has been my best friend for eight years now. Recently, he entered into a relationship with a girl who looks and acts just like me. Since then, things have been different between us.
Queenie, what do I have to offer him in terms of friendship now that he has found a perfect substitute?—Ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
Your friendship without “benefits”, as long as his new girlfriend does not object.
As I am sure you have learned, there is a difference between being a “girlfriend” and being just a “friend”.
