Dear Queenie,
I have tattoos of flowers on my arms that I think are beautiful, but sometimes people, even relatives, will talk about how they don’t like tattoos and think they make your body ugly.
Queenie, what’s a good way to answer them and tell them how they hurt my feelings?—Flower girl
Dear Flower girl,
Just tell them that you think they are beautiful and that is what matters. And if they keep repeating their comments, repeat your reply and ask them to stop being so insulting.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s first wife died long before we met. Their son is married to a woman who is the problem I want your advice about. She is very fat and her clothes are too tight, so she bulges out of them and you can see a lot more of her than she should be showing, but she claims it is the style nowadays.
Queenie, should I say something to her about this?—Offended step-mother-in-law
Dear Step-mother-in-law,
No, that is up to the girl’s parents and you should stay out of it. If you want to take her to a place that has a dress code you should tell her what that code is before you take her there, but otherwise do not say anything.
Dear Queenie,
One of my friends has a habit of getting on her cell phone while we are talking to look up whatever we are talking about on the Internet.
Queenie, isn’t this rude? Should I say something?—Fed-up friend
Dear Friend,
Whether this is rude depends on why your friend does it. She may want to be certain you and/or she are getting things right and, if not, get more information about it and straighten out any mistakes, and is just trying to be helpful. If that is her attitude, just thank her for her input.
Dear Queenie,
The other night when I was out with some friends at a bar I danced with a woman we met there and after the dance I kissed her to say “thanks”. My fiancee found out about it and she got mad at me for cheating on her and broke our engagement.
Queenie, was I cheating or was she being unreasonable?—Sad Ex-fiance
Dear Ex-fiance,
Although it was not as great a betrayal as sleeping with another woman, that kiss was still not acceptable behaviour for an engaged man. How would you feel if your ex-fiancee did something like that?
All you can do is apologise to her, promise never to do anything like that again, and hope she will forgive you and get back together with you.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-wife and I got divorced more than 20 years go and she took our children and moved far away from where I live, but she never got together with another man. She died recently and I would like to help my children, who are now all grown up, deal with their emotions about this, but I think the financial aspects of her funeral and burial are for them and her family, which I am not part of anymore.
Queenie, am I right? And should I go to the funeral for my children’s sake? Like I said, they live far away, so it would be difficult and expensive.—Far-away father
Dear Father,
I do not think anyone expects you to help pay for your ex-wife’s funeral, but you can ask your children if they would like you to be there for emotional support.
If you do not attend the funeral, you still might want to arrange a family reunion at some other time that is convenient for all of you.
