Dear Queenie,

A long time ago my wife’s brother-in-law made a pass at her, She turned him down but after that he still gave her a hard time until we moved far away.

We still see him now and then at family occasions and he thinks everything is just fine even though he never even tried to apologize for what he did.

I have forgiven him for what he did, but I can’t forget, and every time I see him I start to get angry again and I have a hard time getting along with him.

Queenie, how can I get over this, or at least leave it in the past and move on?—Offended husband

Dear Husband,

If you still get angry at this man you have not actually forgiven him. If you think it would help if he apologised, tell him so – calmly – and hope that it helps.

Either way, professional counselling would help you put the past in the past and get on more happily with life in the present.

Dear Queenie,

A friend of mine from childhood now lives far away. When he visited here recently we got together and we even had sex. I always loved him as a friend but now I think there can be more than that. We keep in touch every day but I miss being together with him and that won’t happen for several months and the daily contact isn’t enough. He says he feels the same way.

Queenie, is there any hope for us?—Missing my friend

Dear Missing,

Yes, of course there is. In the more distant past, many couples who were separated for long times were able to keep their relationship going via mail. Nowadays there also are phone calls, email and other Internet apps that enable you to be in contact every day.

Meanwhile, until you can be together again, try to keep busy with other matters.

Dear Queenie,

A childhood friend of mine suffers from depression because of the abuse she suffered from her brother as a child that her parents knew about but didn’t do anything to make it stop.

Now she often invites me to family events like birthday parties where her brother and parents are present and I don’t like to go and face her abuser and the ones who didn’t protect her from him and now they are all acting like it never happened.

Queenie, should we just go and act like we don’t know anything bad ever happened?—Concerned friend

Dear Friend,

Celebrate special occasions with your friend separately, just before or after the actual date. Meanwhile, suggest to your friend, if she has not already done so, that she should see a professional counsellor for help in dealing with her depression.

Dear Queenie,

My wife and I have been married for more than 30 years and our children are all grown up and out on their own.

Recently I found some panties with a sexy message printed on them. As far as I know she has never had anything like that before and I have never seen her wear them.

Queenie, should I be worried?—Surprised husband

Dear Husband,

If your wife does not wear those panties I see no reason for you to worry. Ask her where she got them. She may have thought they were cute, or they may have been a gift.

And, if she does not wear them, how did you happen to find them?