Dear Queenie,
My wife and I have been married for more than 20 years and our only problem is her mother. She calls my wife every Sunday to talk to her for a couple of hours.
I want us to have the weekends alone together, maybe sometimes take a trip somewhere, but there has to be this phone call from her mother, even if we go away. I even got a job where I work on Sunday so I would have something to do when they are busy with each other, but her mother started calling during the week too.
And now my father-in-law is dying from cancer, so her mother has serious problems and calls more often and talks even longer.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Fed-up husband
Dear Husband,
Try to be kind and considerate to your mother-in-law during this difficult time she is going through. You could phone or even visit her, and maybe run an errand or two and/or stay with your father-in-law for a while to give her a break. But your wife has chosen not to put a limit on her phone calls, and that is not likely to change, especially now.
Dear Queenie,
I have been dating a woman who is not religious, but I am – very much. I have invited her to join me in going to church and she did a couple of times but she just isn’t interested in any religion.
She has talked about getting married but I am afraid of being married to someone who does not share my religious commitment.
Queenie, what do you think? Will she ever change?—Devout Christian
Dear Devout Christian,
If being with you has not made this woman more interested in a religious life, I doubt she will change with marriage. This would probably lead to considerable friction and I doubt you would be happy together in the long run.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine who is in his twenties has never had sex with a girl. He was in love with a girl but they never had sex and finally they broke up.
Queenie, how can I help him?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
Is it possible that your friend is not worried about this, for religious or simply moral reasons? If so, do not interfere.
However, if he also considers this a problem, he should get advice from a professional counsellor.
Dear Queenie,
I have noticed that these days a lot of people say the “f” word a lot, even in public.
Queenie, what do you think about all that?—Language Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I do not approve of using that word in public, and not even in private unless there is a very special reason for it.
Dear Queenie,
My teenage son is going out with a girl who threatens to hurt herself if he doesn’t do what she wants, like answer his calls right away. She even sent him a picture of herself holding her father’s gun pointed at her head.
I called the girl’s mother to tell her about all this, but she just thought I was saying she is a bad mother.
Queenie, what should I do about all this?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
You, or even a professional counsellor, should explain to your son what emotional blackmail is and how it should be dealt with.
This girl apparently has serious emotional problems that your son is not able to deal with. He should break up with her to protect himself, and hope her mother will then get her the professional help she badly needs.
