Fed-up brother-in-law

Dear Queenie,

My wife’s brother and his wife never host family get-togethers. They have a nice house and plenty of room, so they could do it, but they don’t. It’s always up to us or their parents.

Queenie, am I expecting too much of them?—Fed-up brother-in-law

Dear Brother-in-law,

You are right, your brother-in-law and his wife should do their share of entertaining family, but it is not going to happen, so you will have to decide what events you will host and leave the rest up to your in-laws.

When you host an event you could ask your brother-in-law and his wife to help out by bringing some food and/or pitching in at your house, but that is as much as you can expect (if even that!).

Worried wife

Dear Queenie,

My husband and I do not have a good marriage, but he wants us to have children. Some time ago I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage, and since then I have been taking contraceptives without him knowing it. He keeps saying he wants children and I keep telling him it’s not going to happen.

Queenie, should I explain to him why?—Worried wife

Dear Wife,

What you have been doing, letting him live with the hope of having a child(ren) is not fair to your husband. However, I can understand why you hesitate to tell him the truth.

As usual in a situation like this, I recommend professional counselling to help you decide what to do.

Fed-up husband

Dear Queenie,

My wife cheated on me with her sister’s husband’s brother at her sister’s house, so I don’t let her visit her sister without me.

Queenie, I know her sister will keep on trying to break up our marriage. What can I do?—Fed-up husband

Dear Husband,

Your wife will have to tell her sister that she does not want to cheat on you, and it is up to your wife to stick to that ultimatum. Your wife has to make her sister understand the consequences of her behaviour. Meanwhile, your wife should not visit her sister without you.

Wanting some privacy

Dear Queenie,

We have an elderly neighbor who lives alone and comes by almost every day needing some sort of help around her house or a ride to go somewhere.

Queenie, how can we get her to not bother us so often?—Wanting some privacy

Dear Wanting,

Your neighbour seems lonely and probably cannot do the things she asks you to help her with. It is okay to sometimes tell her you are too busy and to ask her to chip in for gas when she needs a ride.

Meanwhile, are there other neighbours or friends of hers who can pitch in to help her?

Lonely divorcee

Dear Queenie,

I’m in my 40s, divorced, with teenage children. I’ve been dating a man a little older than me, also divorced with teenage children. Sometimes we disagree and even argue about unimportant things and he gets over these arguments quickly, but I don’t and I am starting to wonder if I should keep seeing him.

Queenie, what do you advise?—Lonely divorcee

Dear Divorcee,

Spending time with someone who does not make you feel happy, just to avoid feeling lonely, is not a solution to your problem. If you are not happy spending time with this man, no, you should not keep seeing him.

The Daily Herald

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