Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend gets upset at the least little thing and when he does he changes completely. When he feels good he is so sweet and considerate, but when he get mad he’s just plain mean. I know he doesn’t really mean the things he says but it is really hurtful.
Queenie, should I just accept that he isn’t nice all the time?—Worried girlfriend
Dear Worried girlfriend,
That depends on whether he understands how you feel about the way he treats you and is willing to try to change his behaviour.
If he does understand and is willing to try to change, give him a chance. If not, get out before things get worse.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend gets upset at the least little thing and when he does he changes completely. When he feels good he is so sweet and considerate, but when he get mad he’s just plain mean. I know he doesn’t really mean the things he says but it is really hurtful.
Queenie, should I just accept that he isn’t nice all the time?—Worried girlfriend
Dear Worried girlfriend,
That depends on whether he understands how you feel about the way he treats you and is willing to try to change his behaviour.
If he does understand and is willing to try to change, give him a chance. If not, get out before things get worse.
Dear Queenie,
Our father began drinking after our mother died and he gets drunk every day.
It wouldn’t be so bad if he just stayed home drinking, but he goes out and about driving and we’re afraid he will get into an accident and hurt himself or somebody else.
Queenie, what can we do to make him to stop drinking so much or at least stop driving when he has been drinking?—Worried children
Dear Worried children,
You cannot make him do anything. Your father must recognise that he has a problem and want to deal with it.
Contact the local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous (see Agenda, page 2 of this newspaper or www.12stepforums.net online) for advice on dealing with your father and his problem. They probably will refer you to Al-Anon, which you also can contact online at www.al-anon.alateen.org .
You also might want to alert the police when you know your father is driving drunk. Getting arrested and losing his driver’s licence would stop him from driving (if he does not just go ahead and drive without a licence) and might persuade him that he has a serious problem.
Dear Queenie,
Our father began drinking after our mother died and he gets drunk every day.
It wouldn’t be so bad if he just stayed home drinking, but he goes out and about driving and we’re afraid he will get into an accident and hurt himself or somebody else.
Queenie, what can we do to make him to stop drinking so much or at least stop driving when he has been drinking?—Worried children
Dear Worried children,
You cannot make him do anything. Your father must recognise that he has a problem and want to deal with it.
Contact the local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous (see Agenda, page 2 of this newspaper or www.12stepforums.net online) for advice on dealing with your father and his problem. They probably will refer you to Al-Anon, which you also can contact online at www.al-anon.alateen.org .
You also might want to alert the police when you know your father is driving drunk. Getting arrested and losing his driver’s licence would stop him from driving (if he does not just go ahead and drive without a licence) and might persuade him that he has a serious problem.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I got together after he broke up with his former girlfriend. Things were just great for a while, but then they made up and got back together.
Even after they were back together he still stayed in touch with me and I would see him now and then.
Now he says he wants us to be together again, but he has some things he has to work out.
Queenie, what should I do? Should I wait for him?—Impatient
Dear Impatient,
Wait for what? For him to get together with you and then decide he wants to be with his former girlfriend – or maybe someone else?
Either this guy doesn't know what he wants, or wants whatever he can't have, or wants to have his cake (his former girlfriend) and eat it too (have you, and God only knows how many others, on the side).
Whatever way you look at him, this guy is bad news.
