Dear Queenie,
When I got married I wore a beautiful custom-made gown, but what do I do with it now? It seems wasteful to pack it away and let it rot.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Newlywed
Dear Newlywed,
You could pack the gown away carefully so it does not “rot” and hope that your daughter(s) or your son(s)’ bride(s) would like to wear it at their wedding(s).
Or you could have it altered (and possibly dyed) into an evening gown that you yourself could wear on formal occasions.
Or you could donate it to a worthy organisation that then could sell (or donate) it to someone who otherwise could not afford such a lovely wedding gown.
Or you could advertise it for sale online, perhaps on eBay.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have been married for several years and his grown-up daughter still refuses to speak to me. I have tried to be nice to her and even helped her out when she was short of money but even then she didn’t even say “thanks.”
Queenie, what more can I do?—Second wife
Dear Second wife,
Your stepdaughter probably resents the fact that you have “replaced” her mother, but that does not excuse her behaviour. Your husband – her father – should insist that she treat you with respect at the very least, even if she does not like you. And unless/until she alters her attitude, have as little to do with her as possible, including no more financial assistance.
Dear Queenie,
My wife died a couple of years ago and when looking after my young son got to be too much for my mother, who is getting quite old, I hired a young woman to take care of him while I’m at work and my son just loves her.
The problem is that she has been coming on to me and I’m attracted to her, but she has a boyfriend, so I won’t do anything about it as long as she is with him, but what do I do if they break up? Would that mean she shouldn’t look after my son anymore? Or if she continues to take care of him, what happens if we break up? Could she still work for me?
Queenie, what do you say?—Lonely Daddy
Dear Lonely Daddy,
It worked for Georg von Trapp, but you might not be as lucky. Better keep hands off the nanny, certainly as long as she has a boyfriend and even if/when she does not, only if you both want to make the arrangement permanent, as anything less might be too confusing, even painful, for your son.
And if you are in the market for a new wife, let all your married friends know. I am sure they will be eager to fix you up with eligible single women.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a stay-at-home mother and my husband travels a lot. My problem is his mother. When he is away she takes over paying the bills and gives me money for household expenses. I think I should be the one in charge of things when he is away, not his mother.
Queenie, what do you think?—Angry wife
Dear Angry wife,
I think it depends on where the money comes from. Is your mother-in-law taking over your husband’s paycheques or does the money come out of her pocket?
If it is the latter, she has every right to be in charge.
However, if it is the former, your husband should make arrangements to keep his paycheques and the bills out of her hands – perhaps by having the cheques deposited directly into a bank account that you can access but she cannot, and by having the bills sent to a Post Office box for which she does not have a key or by arranging for you to pay them online from said bank account. But be prepared for Mommy to have a less-than-positive reaction to any new arrangement.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my late 20s and have top-notch education and a good career with plenty of advancement already and the possibility of more.
The problem is that every relationship I’ve had broke up over the fact that the man felt threatened by my success and started to resent it.
Queenie, will I ever be able to have a normal family life?—Career woman
Dear Career woman,
If you want a successful relationship with a man you have to find one who is himself successful in life, even if that does not mean having a high-level career, and feels secure enough in himself not to resent your success.
Do not settle for less, even if it takes a while to find “Mr. Right.”
