Dear Queenie,

Who is this George von Trapp you referred to in your answer to Lonely Daddy (Wednesday, October 28)?

Queenie, why is it okay for him to mess around with the nanny, but not for Lonely Daddy? Furthermore, Queenie, you spelled his name wrong. Shame on you!—Just Curious

Dear Just Curious,

I spelled the name correctly. It was not “George,” it was “Georg” without a final “e” (pronounced “GAY-org” not “Jorj”). Check Wikipedia if you do not believe me.

As for his conduct, have you never seen or heard of the movie “Sound of Music”? Baron Georg von Trapp did not “mess around” with his children’s nanny, he married her.

And, just for the record, that movie was a fictionalised (rather romanticised) account of a real Austrian family who became known as the Trapp Family Singers and eventually emigrated from Austria to the United States, where they enjoyed considerable success.

Dear Queenie,
I’ve never had a girlfriend. Sometimes I can get a girl to go out with me once, but that’s it. After that she just wants to be friend or not even that.
I get along with girls just fine in class or in a group, but when it’s just the two of us I just can’t think of anything to say and she thinks I’m not really interested or just plain stupid.
Queenie, what’s wrong with me?—Never been kissed

Dear Never,
Apparently you are very shy and it is interfering with your social life.
Presumably you are already acquainted with any girl you ask for a date, so before you go out with her, go over in your mind all the things you know about her. Then, when you are with her, do not try to find witty things to say, just ask her questions about herself and things you know she is interested in. Pay her a compliment. Talk about a class you are both in, or one she is in that you find interesting.
Do not be afraid to admit that you are nervous, especially on a first date. Some girls will find this cute, or at least will be sympathetic, and will try to help you relax. The ones who do not probably are not worth your time anyway.
And you would be surprised to learn how many girls also are nervous on a first date.

Dear Queenie,

The family I grew up in is what you would call dysfunctional and I’ve had two bad marriages. Now I’m divorced and doing pretty well for myself.

I can cope with problems and stress just fine. It’s peace and tranquillity that are the problem. When things are going well, all I can do is worry about what if something goes wrong. If I’m dating a great guy I worry about what if he turns out to be not so nice after all. Or what if my lease isn’t renewed and I have to find somewhere else to live, or what if I get into an accident and can’t work.

Queenie, waiting for something to go wrong is worse than coping with something that did go wrong!—Worrywart

Dear Worrywart,

You have to learn to let go of the bad times and appreciate the good ones. First, teach yourself to focus on the present, to take one day at a time.

Then, memorise what is known as the Serenity Prayer – “God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time” – and repeat it to yourself as needed.

Dear Queenie,

It’s getting close to the holidays and my relatives are starting to ask me what my kids want for Christmas. Every year they give the kids so many toys and things and sometimes several of them get the same thing so that the kids have 2 or even 3 of the same toys.

I know I can donate the duplicates to one of those charity drives for the less fortunate but it seems like an awful waste of time and money, not to mentions the things the kids wanted that they didn’t get because they got 2 of something else instead.

Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed,

Make a list of the things the children would like to get for Christmas and have each of your relatives pick something from that list. Make sure to mark off the items that have been selected already to prevent duplication.

You might also include on the list some less tangible items, like special outings the child would enjoy: an afternoon at a sporting event; lunch or dinner at a restaurant that caters to children, like Burger King or McDonald’s, or perhaps a picnic; taking the child along on a community service event like a beach cleanup; or some kind of learning experience like a dance or music lesson. The adults can give the children “vouchers” for such items, to be redeemed at a later date.