Dear Queenie,

The only time I hear from my mother and step-father is when they need help with something around the house or transportation to go somewhere. I don’t even get invited to family events unless they need a ride to get there. When I had to go to the hospital for surgery they didn’t bother to come to the hospital or call to see how I was doing.

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t answer their calls anymore.

Queenie, does that make me a bad daughter?—Fed up

Dear Fed up,

How often, pray tell, do you call them to see how they are doing? Perhaps you have made them feel as though you do not have time for them, so they only call on you for help when the matter is urgent and they have no other option.

And did you even let them know you were going to be in the hospital, and why, and how to contact you there?

Maintaining a relationship of any sort is a two-way street, you know.

Dear Queenie,

I’m a late-middle-aged reasonably intelligent divorced man who would like to find some female friends, maybe even someone to get really close to, but all the women my own age only seem to be interested in church and housekeeping and watching TV and grandchildren, and younger women just want to party all the time.

Queenie, is there any hope for me?—Lonesome

Dear Lonesome,

Just where have you been looking for female companionship?

There are many women of all ages who are interested in the same things you are, but you have to look for them in places that reflect your and their common interests. Try joining a community service group and/or taking some adult education classes in subjects that interest you.

Dear Queenie,

I have a friend who can’t seem to make or keep a date. If I call her to suggest going out for lunch or even just going shopping together, she’ll tell me she’ll let me know, but most of the time she ends up telling me she just can’t make it.

Recently I suggested we go to a community meeting together and she said she’d let me know, but when it got close to the date I still hadn’t heard from her so when my sister suggested we go together I called my friend to ask whether she was going, but she was too busy to talk to me and said she’d call me back later but she never did, so I just went ahead and went to the meeting with my sister. Now my friend is mad at me.

Queenie, was I wrong or was she?—Frustrated friend

Dear Frustrated,

In this case, you both were wrong. Apologise to your friend for not going to the meeting with her. And from now on, when she gives you the “I’ll let you know” routine, tell her you will take that to mean “No” unless and until she gets back to you with a firm “Yes.” Or just stop trying to arrange to do things with her.

Dear Queenie,

There is a boy in my son’s class at school that he likes to play with that likes to roughhouse and play-fight with other children and uses foul language. I suppose he talks like that and behaves like that because that is what he sees and hears at home, but I don’t want my son to pick up such habits.

Queenie, should I forbid my son to play with this boy?—Worried mother

Dear Mother,

You cannot keep your son away from this boy at school, but I suggest you talk to the school authorities about the boy’s behaviour and vocabulary.

Outside of school, do not let your son go to this boy’s home to play, and if his parents ask why, tell them what you object to. However, you might let the boy play at your house after explaining to him clearly what you consider unacceptable and insisting that he abide by your rules when he is in your home. It might be good for him to learn how people outside his family do and do not behave and talk.