Dear Queenie,
I’m 15 and my mother has a new boyfriend that she goes out with a lot and sometimes stays over with him and then I stay with my grandmother.
Queenie, I think it’s too soon for her to be doing that. Is there anything I can do?—Neglected teenager
Dear Teenager,
Your mother is not likely to listen to anything you or I tell her, so talk to your grandmother and ask her to talk to her daughter, your mother, about what she is doing and how you feel about it. Your mother (hopefully) will listen to what her mother tells her.
Dear Queenie,
My husband works in an office with a lot of women who flirt with good-looking men like my husband and I’ve noticed recently that he has started making himself look good and wearing very nice clothes when he goes to work and sometimes he mentions that he took a walk or had lunch with one of those women.
Queenie, I’m worried about what might happen or is already going on. Am I wrong to be worried?—Worried wife
Dear Worried wife,
The fact that your husband wants to look good at work is nothing to worry about, but if he starts coming home from work later than before or even “partying” after work you should wonder about it.
Talk to him about this, and if the two of you cannot have an open and honest conversation about it I recommend professional marriage counselling.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I got married after he divorced his first wife because he fell in love with me. His children, who are all grown up with families of their own, resent me because of what they think I did to their mother, but it was him that did it, not me. I didn’t have anything to do with him until after his divorce.
Now his children are rude to me and they are telling him he should divorce me too, like he did their mother.
Queenie, shouldn’t he put our marriage first, before his grown-up children?—Fed-up second wife
Dear Fed-up,
Your husband should see his children alone, without you, and insist that even if they do not like you, at least they should treat you with respect.
A professional counsellor might be able to help the two of you work out a solution to your problem.
Dear Queenie,
My sister-in-law has some very bigoted ideas that I very much disagree with.
Queenie, how can I protect my children from her ideas and still get along with her?—Father with principles
Dear Father,
Let your sister-in-law know you disagree with her ideas, but do not argue with her about them. And when you are alone with your children explain to them how and why you disagree with their aunt, with a full explanation of what you believe in.
Dear Queenie,
I have a list of friends and relatives that I send presents to on Christmas and their birthdays. Some of them send me presents too and most of them at least send me a card, but there are a few I never hear from at all.
Queenie, should I cut the ones I don’t hear from off my list?—Fed-up gift-giver
Dear Fed-up,
Spend your time and energy (and money) on the ones who let you know they appreciate it. You can also donate to hospitals and/or care organisations.
As for the ones you do not hear from, you can continue to send them a card or a hand-written note if you want to let them know they are not forgotten.
