Dear Queenie,
My mother-in-law doesn’t like me very much although she got along fine with my husband’s previous wife, and she doesn’t like my children at all because they’re not her grandchildren. Recently she arranged a family photo session that she just didn’t tell me about and only my husband and his own children are in any of the photos. I only found out about it when I saw my husband’s copies of the pictures.
Queenie, don’t I have a right to be offended?—Insulted wife
Dear Insulted,
If only blood relatives were included in the photos, do not let it bother you. If you want current family photos, make an appointment for another photo session. It is up to you if you want to include your in-laws, and if you do not, they have no grounds for complaint.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend broke up with his former girlfriend to be with me. We have been together for a couple of years now, but I still wonder if he might cheat on me or just leave me for someone else.
Queenie, do you think I can depend on him?—Doubtful
Dear Doubtful,
First I have to ask: How old are you? If you are both teenagers, you are both still growing up and changing, and there is a good chance your relationship will not be permanent.
However, if you are both older and more mature than that it will depend on whether you are both happy and fulfilled in your relationship, and you can best figure that out through open and frank communication with each other.
Dear Queenie,
Very often someone I see on the street or in the market will greet me as if they know me but I do not recognise them or remember their name.
Queenie, does this happen to you? And if it does, how do you handle the situation?—Confused
Dear Confused,
It happens to me all the time. I just smile and say “Hello.” Usually, if the conversation goes on from there the other person will say something that gives me a clue to who they are. If not, and if necessary, I will apologise for not remembering their name and when they tell me I will know where I know them from.
Dear Queenie,
My wife never turns off the lights in our house, especially at night. She says it’s a nuisance turning them off and on again all the time and besides it wears them out faster. I say it runs up the electric bill and gets too expensive.
Queenie, what do you say?—Lights On, Lights Off
Dear Lights,
I say there is merit to both sides of this argument, plus a couple of factors you have not mentioned.
True, fluorescent lights wear out faster the more often they are turned on and off, while incandescent bulbs wear out faster the longer they are left on. Add to that the fact that incandescent bulbs use more electricity than fluorescent bulbs of the same wattage. So “on” or “off” would seem to be determined by what kind of bulbs you are using.
However, you might want to consider that a dark house indicates that either there is nobody home or everybody is sound asleep – a possible invitation to potential burglars. So it might be a good idea to leave at least a few lights on here and there as a deterrent – and to help your (nosy) neighbours see anyone trying to enter your home uninvited so they (hopefully) can call the police. You might even want to set up a few lights on timers to confuse said potential intruders.
Dear Queenie,
Every so often someone I know will say they will see me at such and such an event that I haven’t been invited to.
Queenie, I don’t want to embarrass the person, or the host who hasn’t invited me. What can I say in such a case?—Excluded Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
People cannot be expected to invite everyone they know to every event they plan to host, so it is no embarrassment to anyone to simply say you have not been invited. However, you can always avoid being specific and simply say you are sorry, but you are not going to be there, without saying why.
