Dear Queenie,
My wife drinks too much now and then and when she’s been drinking she says and does stupid stuff that she doesn’t remember when she sobers up and thinks we’re making up stories about what she said and did.
Queenie, how can we make her believe us and maybe get some help for her drinking?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
In these days of the ever-present cell phone with recording features the answer is simple: When your wife starts acting up, record what she says and does. Then play it back when she is sober. Who knows, it may even shock her into staying sober with you, and getting help doing so if she needs it.
Dear Queenie,
Why do you always recommend counselling for people who write to you about the problem they are having with some other disgusting person, usually their spouse or partner?
Queenie, the problem is the way the other person is behaving, they are the one who needs counselling.—Another faithful fan
Dear Fan,
The “disgusting persons” are not the ones who ask me for advice. It would be wonderful if they did, and if they would take the advice I would give them, but that is not likely to happen any time soon – that is part of what makes them “disgusting.”
Meanwhile, the letter writers need help in coping with their situations, deciding whether they want to remain in said situations, and help in getting out if that is what they decide to do.
Dear Queenie,
My brother-in-law keeps borrowing things from me, like tools or my weed-whacker, but when he returns them they are not in good condition, that is, if he returns them at all which he often doesn’t do until I get after him for them because I need them myself.
Queenie, how do I refuse to lend him anything anymore without being rude?—Had it up to here
Dear Had it,
When he asks to borrow something, just tell him as pleasantly as you can manage, “Sorry, I’ll be needing it myself” or “Sure, just as soon as you return (the last thing(s) he borrowed).” If there is more than one item outstanding, feel free to hand him a list. And feel free to hand him a bill for the cost of repairing or replacing anything that was returned damaged.
Dear Queenie,
I’m an average-looking middle-aged person who has a lot of friends, mostly couples who are married or at least in committed relationships, and a good job. Everyone I know thinks I am happy and successful, but I don’t have a special someone to share my life with.
Queenie, am I condemned to being alone forever?—Singleton
Dear Singleton,
There are worse things than being alone. The worst is being stuck in a bad relationship with someone who is just not right (or terribly wrong) for you.
If most of your friends are couples, try socialising more with other “singletons.” It is never too late to find “that special someone.”
Dear Queenie,
This is in response to the letter from “Under pressure” (Thursday, March 1). You are correct that he (or she) should be making the children do their own homework. However, once they have done so, he (or she) can go over the work, mark all the mistakes without giving them the correct answer, and have the children fix the mistakes, doing this over and over again if necessary until they get it right.—Faithful fan
Dear Faithful fan,
You are absolutely right! I could not have said it better myself – in fact, I did not. Thank you for your input.
