Dear Queenie,
After my sister went away to college she got a job over there and now she doesn’t stay in touch with us here at home anymore. We try to call her or e-mail her but she never answers the phone or replies to the e-mails.
Queenie, why do people do like that? And how do we stay in touch with her?—Miss my sis
Dear Miss,
Your sister may have had a falling-out with some member of your family, or she may have become so engrossed in her new life that she just does not have the time or energy to stay in touch with the folks “back home”.
Send her greeting cards on her birthday and all special occasions and holidays (without expecting any response) and hope that someday she will decide to respond.
Dear Queenie,
A guy I liked when we were in high school went away to college, got married and lived abroad for many years. Then a while ago he got divorced and came back here to live and when we happened to meet up he asked me out on a date.
I thought we had a great time, but after that one date I haven’t heard from him again.
Queenie, maybe he just lost my phone number? Should I give him a call?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
You can try, but do not be surprised – or upset – if he is just not interested. These days, what with Facebook and all the other social media, he probably could have found a way to contact you if he really wanted to.
Dear Queenie,
One of my uncles got mad at me for calling him “Uncle (whatever)” and said now that I am grown up I should just call him by his first name, so that is what I do.
But Queenie, I’m wondering – should I stop calling all my older relatives “Aunt” and ´Uncle”?—Confused nephew
Dear Nephew,
This is a matter of the personal preference of the person you are addressing. Ask each of them what they prefer and abide by their preference.
Dear Queenie,
My son’s new wife won’t let our grandson (his son with his ex-wife) visit us unless we also take her daughter with her ex-husband (my son’s step-daughter). She says it’s because the little girl cries all the time her big brother (step-brother) is away. We think it’s just because she is looking for free baby-sitting.
Queenie, why should we have to take care of the little girl too?—Imposed on
Dear Imposed on,
Face it; the little girl may not be related to you or your son or your grandson by blood, but she is still an important part of your son’s and grandson’s lives, and so is her mother.
You do not say how old your grandson is, or how well the children get along with each other. Is he old enough to help you look after his little step-sister? And do they get along with each other well enough that he can be trusted to do so?
You would be wise not to try to shut the little girl out. Who knows? You might even come to love her as though she really were a blood relation, and you would be setting a good example for your grandson.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé is living on another island for a while for his job and comes home weekends to see me. He has a friend there – a woman – he spends a lot of time and does a lot of things with.
I know her and I like her, but when I asked my fiancé about how much time he was spending with her he got mad and shouted at me and accused me of being jealous and trying to control him.
Queenie, was I being unreasonable?—Not jealous
Dear Not jealous,
No. You were asking a perfectly reasonable question under the circumstances. Your fiancé was the one who was being unreasonable, for getting angry about your question. If this is the way he is going to treat you, perhaps you should think twice before you marry him.
