Dear Queenie,
What do you say when someone, especially a doctor or other healthcare worker, asks you if you drink, meaning alcohol? I drink a glass of wine sometimes at a ceremonial meal, but if I just say “yes” they might think I’m a regular drunkard.
So, Queenie, what do I tell them? And what do I put down for that question when I’m filling out a form?—Not quite a teetotaller
Dear Not quite a teetotaller,
If someone asks you this question in person, tell them “Occasionally,” or “Yes, but very rarely and very little,” or even go into a little more detail about how often and how much. When filling out a form, you can check the “yes” box and write in one of these modifiers.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a university student and I’m thinking about writing a book about everything that has happened to me and everything I’ve done in my life. Maybe reading my book would help other kids who are facing the same things I have.
Queenie, should I do it? And how would I go about getting it published?—Undecided student
Dear Student,
By all means, write your book! Even if you never get it published it will be a valuable memoir that you will enjoy reviewing and your family (especially your descendants, if you ever have any) will enjoy reading.
As for getting your book published, probably one of your university professors can help you with that – or you can just load the book onto an online website and make it available for anyone who is interested.
Dear Queenie,
I was sexually abused when I was little and now I have problems when it comes to having sex with my husband. He knows about the abuse and he tries to be understanding, but it is still a problem for me – and for him too.
I have been told I need psychological therapy, but it would be so embarrassing to talk about all this to a stranger.
Queenie, help!—All grown up, but still a victim
Dear Victim,
Your doctor should be able to help you find a therapist to whom you can talk without feeling embarrassed. Keep in mind that the therapist will not judge you for what happened to you; it is his job to help you work out the problems it has caused you.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I moved far away from where our families live and now when we go back there to visit we end up arguing about how much time to spend with each of our families because she has a big family and mine is not so big.
Queenie, should we spend half our time with each family or should the time we spend be divided up according to how many people we want to see?—Undecided husband
Dear Husband,
Why not arrange to have two big family get-togethers – one for all of your wife’s family and one for all of yours. Then, if you want to visit any (or all) of them individually, you can visit your relatives while your wife visits with hers.
Dear Queenie,
I got divorced about a year ago and I can’t decide what to do about all our family pictures with my ex in them. I don’t want to throw them out because he is my children’s father and they might want the pictures someday, but I don’t like having to look at them all the time, and if I start seeing someone new he probably wouldn’t like seeing pictures with my ex in them.
Queenie, what do you suggest I do with them?—Moving on
Dear Moving on,
If your children want to have the pictures on display, put them up in the children’s room(s). Otherwise, put them in an album and store it away in case your children want the pictures sometime in the future.
