Molester’s victim

Dear Queenie,

  When I was a child I was molested by a close relative. I told my parents, but I guess they didn’t believe me, because they continued to invite this relative to family gatherings. It made me very uncomfortable to be around him and it still does, so when I got old enough I stopped going to any event where he would be there.

  Now he is married and has children and his wife sends me birthday and Christmas cards and I don’t like to see his name on the cards.

  Queenie, can I ask her to stop sending them? Should I explain why?—Molester’s victim


Dear Victim,

  Yes, you can ask your abuser’s wife to stop sending you birthday and Christmas cards. And if there is even the slightest chance that her husband might do to any of his children what he did to you, his wife should be warned about it – hopefully before it has a chance to happen.