Dear Queenie,
I have several grandchildren and am always pleased when they call me “Grandma” or “Grandma (my name)”, but I find it rude and disrespectful when grown-ups who are not my grandchildren call me something like that.
Queenie, how do I get the grown-ups to talk to me like another grown-up?—Offended grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
(No offence meant.) Just tell them, “My name is …” if they do not already know your name, or if they do know it, “Please call me by my name.”
Dear Queenie,
My little brother had some development problems when he was a child. Now I have a friend whose child is showing some of the same problems my brother had and she has mentioned that she is concerned about them.
Queenie, should I tell her what I think?—Helpful friend
Dear Friend,
The next time your friend brings up the subject, suggest that she discuss it with her child’s paediatrician. You could also tell her about your brother and his problems.
Dear Queenie,
My mother and I were always close when I was growing up, but when my boyfriend and I started getting really close she started trying to break us up. When we got married she didn’t come to our wedding and now she refuses to come to our house to see me, because she says I chose him instead of her.
Queenie, why should I have to choose between my mother and my husband?—Caught in the middle
Dear Caught,
You should not have to make such a choice. Your mother’s jealousy is clouding her thinking (or preventing her from thinking at all!).
Try to stay in touch with her, invite her to your home occasionally, and keep hoping that eventually she will miss you enough to do so. Meanwhile, can’t you visit your mother in her home once in a while?
Dear Queenie,
I love to have people visit me in my house, but I hate it when they track in mud and sand and whatever on their shoes and I have a big mess to clean up.
Queenie, is it okay to ask them to take off their shoes before they come in?—Neat Nelly
Dear Nelly,
It is okay to ask, especially if you give them slippers to wear inside.
However, it would be much easier if you have big doormats both outside and inside your front door so they have plenty of chance to wipe off their shoes before they come in. And try to keep the path leading up to your door as clean as possible.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months now. Sometimes he hugs me and we hold hands while we are watching TV, but up to now he has never kissed me.
Queenie, how do I find out if he wants to kiss me and how do I let him know it’s okay?—Confused girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
The next time you are holding hands or saying “Goodbye” feel free to ask him if he wants to kiss you – or to kiss him. That should settle the matter one way or the other.
