Dear Queenie,
When my daughters got married last year just a few weeks from each other, my father-in-law gave us a lot of money to help out with the wedding expenses. Then at Christmastime he sent nice presents to all his other grandchildren, but nothing to my girls.
Queenie, how can he be so unfair?—Angry mother
Dear Mother,
Apparently your father-in-law considers the money he gave for your daughters’ weddings to be their (advance) Christmas presents as well as their wedding gifts.
Whatever the case, none of the grandchildren is entitled to receive any kind of gift from their grandfather. They – and you – should be appropriately grateful for whatever he chooses to give them, whenever he does so.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-wife came to me for help when her new boyfriend started abusing her and I let her and her new baby come to live with me because she had nowhere else to go, but I thought I made it clear to her that she wasn’t to have anything more to do with the guy who had abused her.
Now I come to find out she has been seeing this guy again and I feel like a real dope.
Queenie, what can I do?—Used ex-husband
Dear Ex-husband,
Your ex-wife needs more help than you can give her. Put her in contact with Safe Haven, which offers services for abused and battered women and their children.
Their office number is 9277, 24-hour hotline 9333 or (721)523-6400, e-mail address This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and Facebook page SafeHavenSt.Maarten .
Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who has a hard time deciding what to order when we go out for dinner at a restaurant. He gets into a long conversation with the waiter or waitress about all the things on the menu and then when the food arrives he always has some complaint about it.
Queenie, I don’t want to stop going out with him but what can I do?—Fed up, but not with the food
Dear Fed up,
These days many restaurants post their menus online, so you can have a look or download it before you go out and give your friend a chance to think about what he will want to order before you go out.
As for his complaints about the food when it arrives, talk to him about this behaviour before you go out, and ask him to tone it down as much as he can to spare you the embarrassment.
Dear Queenie,
If several people go out to eat together at a restaurant and at the end of the meal only one of them wants to order dessert while the rest of them are ready to leave, is it rude for that one person to order dessert and keep the others waiting, or is it rude for them to force that person to go without dessert?—Restaurant Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
It is always rude to force one’s preferences on someone else.
The person who wants to order dessert should ask the others whether they mind waiting while he (or she) orders and eats. If they do mind, that person can then decide whether to go ahead, order and eat while the others leave without him/her, or to go without dessert and leave with the others.
Dear Queenie,
I have a beautiful ring my ex-husband gave me years ago that I would like to wear sometimes, but my husband now doesn’t like for me to wear it because of who gave it to me.
I tried to explain that to me it’s just a beautiful ring and there is no sentimental feeling in wearing it, but he still objects.
Queenie, how can I convince him?—Ring-wearer
Dear Ring-wearer,
Your current husband apparently does not like to be reminded that you were married for a long time to someone else.
Perhaps he would object less if you had the stones of the ring reset, or if you sold it and bought another equally beautiful piece of jewellery that would have no connection to your former spouse.
