Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend and I are in favour of different political parties, but we don’t let that bother us. However, most of my friends favour the same party I do and they don’t like him because of his political ideas, so they stopped calling me and inviting me to their get-togethers.

  Queenie, why do I have to choose between my boyfriend and all my other friends?—Victim of politics

Dear Victim,

  You should not have to make such a choice. If this is how your friends behave, perhaps it is time for you to start making more friends – ones who can “agree to disagree” and not let politics rule all their choices in life.

Dear Queenie,

  My wife has a different religion from my family and one of my relatives told her she wouldn’t go to heaven because she doesn’t believe in their religion. Now my wife is mad at me because of what that other person said.

  I have told her I don’t think what that person said is right, but she is still mad at me.

  Queenie, why is it my fault?—Innocent husband

Dear Husband,

  I hope you have made it clear to your wife that you do not agree with or support what that person told her. If not, do so at once, emphatically.

  However, I have to wonder why your wife became so angry at you. Is it possible that there are other problems in your marriage that need to be dealt with? If so, I suggest you start trying to work them out – with professional counselling if necessary (but not from anyone with a religious connection).

Dear Queenie,

  My daughter and her family have been living with us for several years, since her husband lost his job, but even after he found a new job they didn’t look for their own place to live. They don’t pay rent or help us with the utility bills and they don’t do anything to help around the house.

  Queenie, how do I get them to move out?—Fed-up father

Dear Father,

  To begin with, as long as your son-in-law has a job and an income from it he should be paying rent and/or contributing to the cost of utilities as long as they are living in your house.

  Give them an ultimatum: A reasonable time to find their own place to live and a reasonable amount of rent to pay you until they do. If necessary, help them find a place and help them pack up their things.

  You referred to the “family” so I assume there are children involved. Offer to look after the children as needed while they are house-hunting and moving, and even after they move.

  And if they have not moved out by the deadline you give them, raise their rent enough to encourage them to find a place of their own.

Dear Queenie,

  I can’t get my children to pick up their toys and other things they leave lying around the house. I have to tell them every time and even then they don’t do a very good job of it.

  Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Disgusted mother

Dear Mother,

  I have several:

  When you pick up your children’s things, do not put them away where they can get them out again. Instead, put them somewhere they cannot get them, and make them pay some sort of penalty to get them back.

  For example, if you give them an allowance or they have some other source of pocket money, charge them a fee for each item you had to pick up. Or, assume that they do not want any toys or other non-essentials they leave lying around, and donate the items to charity, while charging a fee for the essentials.

  If charging your children actual cash in such a case is not practical, the penalty can be loss of some privilege or special treat, even if it is just no dessert after a meal. Just make sure they understand the connection between their behaviour and the penalty.