Dear Queenie,
What is the difference between the words “dinner” and “supper”? Or do they both mean the same thing?—Confused
Dear Confused,
“Dinner” refers to the main meal of the day, which most people have at the end of the day, but which could be served earlier, perhaps around noon. It also refers to a large formal banquet such as is served at a special occasion like a wedding, or on a holiday.
“Supper” refers to a lighter, less formal, meal eaten in the evening.
Dear Queenie,
Our son will graduate from college in another country this year. We are planning to go to the graduation if we are allowed to travel to that place, but my mother wants to come with us and we don’t think that’s a good idea. She is not very healthy and constantly complains about her health problems. Also, she can’t walk very well and sometimes she falls down.
Queenie, how can we keep her from going?—Worried son
Dear Son,
If all the travel restrictions are still in place when you plan to travel, it may not be legally possible for you and your mother to travel, never mind her health problems.
Tell her you are worried about her health and safety if she tries to travel and offer to videotape the graduation ceremony for her. You may even be able to send it to her live, or the college may arrange to have it broadcast (live or recorded), so she can watch it from home.
Dear Queenie,
My teenage daughter is all excited because she got pregnant with her boyfriend and is going to be a mother herself. I don’t know what to say to her – that she is going to ruin her life, or that I’m going to love being a grandmother, or what?
Queenie, help!—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Do not tell your daughter she is going to ruin her life. That is not helpful and may not be true.
Your job now is to be as supportive as you can, and above all to encourage her to continue her education and to help her to do so, so that she will be as well-prepared as possible to take care of herself and her child when you no longer can help her with that – and may even need her to help take care of you too.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been married for almost 20 years and we have 2 children. Our marriage is okay, but it could be better, but when I talk to my husband about things he could change things get better for a while and then go back to what they were before.
Recently my ex-fiancé from before I met my husband moved back here and whenever I talk to him it’s like it used to be before we broke up.
My children don’t get along with their father very well and I don’t think it would be very hard on them if we got divorced.
Queenie, what do you think I should do?—Confused wife
Dear Wife,
First of all, try to remember why you broke up with your ex-fiancé.
Then, do not just tell your husband about things you would like him to change, but ask him – and listen carefully to what he says – about things he would like you to change.
Then, if necessary, you and your husband should go together for marriage counselling to help you both learn how to work together to make your marriage better.
Only if all that fails should you even start thinking about getting a divorce.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a girl going into my teens. My father has always been very affectionate, rubbing my back, kissing and hugging me and all like that, but it’s starting to make me feel very uncomfortable when he does it.
Queenie, should I ask him to stop? I don’t want him to think I don’t love him anymore.—Worried teenager
Dear Teenager,
Tell your father you still love him, but you are not a little girl anymore and you don’t like all the physical contact, and ask him to stop or at least do a lot less of it. And if that does not solve your problem, talk about it with your mother or some other adult you trust and ask for their help.
