Confused wife

Dear Queenie,

  I’ve been married for almost 20 years and we have 2 children. Our marriage is okay, but it could be better, but when I talk to my husband about things he could change things get better for a while and then go back to what they were before.

  Recently my ex-fiancé from before I met my husband moved back here and whenever I talk to him it’s like it used to be before we broke up.

  My children don’t get along with their father very well and I don’t think it would be very hard on them if we got divorced.

  Queenie, what do you think I should do?—Confused wife

Dear Wife,

  First of all, try to remember why you broke up with your ex-fiancé.

  Then, do not just tell your husband about things you would like him to change, but ask him – and listen carefully to what he says – about things he would like you to change.

  Then, if necessary, you and your husband should go together for marriage counselling to help you both learn how to work together to make your marriage better.

  Only if all that fails should you even start thinking about getting a divorce.