Dear Queenie,

I’m going to get married and my fiancee and I are planning our wedding. I am friendly with a few of the people where I work and I would like to invite them to our wedding but I’m afraid that if I do, the ones we don’t invite will feel insulted and cause some problems for me.

Queenie, what should I do?—Groom-to-be

Dear Groom-to-be,

You should invite to your wedding only the people you truly want to have there. You do not have to explain or apologise for this, but if anyone asks about it tell them you can only afford to have a limited number of guests.

Dear Queenie,

My girlfriend and I were together for several years and even talking about getting married, before we broke up because I lost my job and wasn’t happy with having her support me. Now I have heard that she is going to get married, but she says she still wants to be “friends with benefits” with me.

Queenie, am I wrong to be disgusted by this?—Ex-boyfriend

Dear Ex-boyfriend,

I can understand how you feel about all this. Tell your ex-girlfriend and her fiance that you are happy to hear their good news and wish them well. Whether you stay “friends” with the two of them is up to them, but it would best be without “benefits”.

Dear Queenie,

Both my husband and I are in our 50s and we worry about his older sister who lives on another island. She has a part-time job but other than that she lives alone. We get in touch with her regularly but she never tries to get in touch with us and we would never know if she got sick or something happened to her. Also, we do not know how she would want us to handle her affairs if she died.

My husband and I both still work full-time and our finances are limited, so we don’t have time and even if we did we can’t afford to go to visit her.

Queenie, how can we get some help?—Worried about her

Dear Worried,

Ask your sister-in-law for contact information for her lawyer, if she has one, her neighbours, her bank(s) and the place where she works, so you will have someone to call if you cannot reach her. And there must be social organisations in the place where she lives that could give you advice now and could assist her and you if (when!) something goes wrong with her.

Dear Queenie,

When you put forks, knives and spoons in the dishwasher which end should go up – the handle or the other end?—Dishwashing Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

I think it is best to put such utensils in handle-up. Most people would prefer that when you take them out after they are washed you do not touch the part that is going to go in their mouth.