Dear Queenie,
A few months ago I broke up with my boyfriend, because he was accusing me of sleeping with other men. We had a huge argument and he told me never to call him or think about him again.
I told him that I would like to be friends, but he said no. He told me to erase his number from my phone and forget about him. He called me names and told me I was a whore.
Recently, he came over and asked my cousin to call me. When I came out, he asked me to step into the car. In the car, he asked my forgiveness and to be my friend. I accepted. Then he asked to be my boyfriend again. He told me that he loved me and he never stopped loving me. I thought about it for a while and I said yes.
Queenie, I really still love him and I wanted this day to come around for a long time now. Do you think I'm being fooled again or do you think he wants to try to make it work?—Still in love!
Dear Still in love,
I’m all for giving people second chances, but I have serious reservations about anyone who could treat you the way he did, ignore you for months and still say he loves you. (I am assuming, of course, that his accusations were totally unfounded.)
If you decide to give him that second chance, make it clear that the first time he even hints that you might be cheating on him, you are finished with him forever. No third chance. Then stick to that decision.
Remember the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” (once, in this case, being his recent apology).
