Dear Queenie,
The family I grew up in is what you would call dysfunctional and I’ve had two bad marriages. Now I’m divorced and doing pretty well for myself.
I can cope with problems and stress just fine. It’s peace and tranquillity that are the problem. When things are going well, all I can do is worry about what if something goes wrong. If I’m dating a great guy I worry about what if he turns out to be not so nice after all. Or what if my lease isn’t renewed and I have to find somewhere else to live, or what if I get into an accident and can’t work.
Queenie, waiting for something to go wrong is worse than coping with something that did go wrong!—Worrywart
Dear Worrywart,
You have to learn to let go of the bad times and appreciate the good ones. First, teach yourself to focus on the present, to take one day at a time.
Then, memorise what is known as the Serenity Prayer – “God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time” – and repeat it to yourself as needed.
