Dear Queenie,
My mother got married a few months ago to a nice man who treats her and me and my brother very well.
The problem is his kids, our step-brother and step-sister. Our mother treats them like their father treats us and they get along with her just fine.
They are nice to us too when our parents are watching. But they are mean to us all the time when our parents aren’t around and they say we are trying to steal their father from them, he’s not our father and they wish we would just go away.
Queenie, we don’t say things like that to them about our mother. We just want all of us to be a family. How can we get them to lighten up?—Stepchild
Dear Stepchild,
This is a problem you can’t solve without help. Talk to your parents about it. It is up to your parents, especially your stepfather, to explain to his children that he still loves them and nobody can “steal” him or his love from them.
If he is unable to reassure them, counselling might help.
Meanwhile, try to understand that your step-siblings are having trouble adjusting to a very new situation, and try to be patient with them.
