Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married, but there’s something that really bothers me. I don’t think his mother likes me very much.
She pretends she does, but she always manages to slip in some nasty little dig about my clothes or my hair or my cooking or something. I’ve told my boyfriend about it and pointed out what she does and he agrees with me that it’s not very nice, but he won’t tell her to stop doing it.
I love my boyfriend, but I’m not sure I can put up with his mother for the rest of my life.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Hurt feelings
Dear Hurt feelings,
What hurts you more, the way your boyfriend’s mother speaks to you or the fact that he doesn’t stand up for you?
I assure you, if he doesn’t stand up for you now, he won’t do so after you are married, so you will have to learn either to stand up for yourself or to put up with all the nasty little digs.
Your best response to the mother is to simply say, “I’m sorry you don’t like it (whatever it may be),” and change the subject. Do not let yourself be drawn into any kind of conversation about whatever it is she doesn’t like. Just change the subject. And don’t get upset about it, or if you do, don’t let her see she has hurt your feelings.
But if you can’t either stand up to her or put up with her, you had better think twice about marrying this mama’s little boy.
