Dear Queenie,
My mother always says she doesn’t want any gifts on special occasions and if I give her something anyway she says she didn’t want any gifts and then makes all sorts of rude comments about the way it is wrapped and what is she supposed to do with whatever it is.
Queenie, what am I doing that is so wrong?—Fed-up daughter
Dear Daughter,
You are ignoring your mother’s statements that she does not want to receive any gifts. Try, just once, not giving her a gift and see what she says then. If she says nothing, or even thanks you for not giving her anything, you will know you are conforming with her expressed wishes.
If you feel you must give a gift to honour a special occasion, try making a donation in your mother’s name to her favourite charity and give her a card from them acknowledging the donation. If even that is too much for her, at least you will have tried to find a compromise between her feelings and yours.
