Dear Queenie,
What is the matter with today’s teenagers? Don’t they have any manners at all? When I drive my children and their friends places, they never say a word to me. They get into the car and start talking to each other and never even say “Hello” to me, let alone “Thank you for the ride” when they get out.
When they call my children on the phone they ask for the kids and again they never say “Hello” to me or make any conversation. They don’t even say “Please” when they ask for my children.
Queenie, I wouldn’t let my children behave that way! Where are their parents?—Disgusted mother
Dear Disgusted mother,
The problem is not so much the teenagers as it is the parents who don’t teach them good manners and the other adults who let them get away with such rudeness.
When you pick up your children’s friends to take them somewhere, don’t start the car until they have greeted you properly. If they don’t understand what you want of them, explain clearly what kind of greeting you would find acceptable.
Explain also that you expect them to show proper appreciation when they arrive at their destination. A simple “Thank you” should be sufficient, but make it clear to them that if you don’t hear it, they can walk the next time.
Regarding phone manners, it’s entirely possible that their parents don’t even know what good phone manners are; too many adults behave the same way these days, even in a business environment.
When you answer a call from one of these children, insist that they greet you politely before you pass the call to your child. Again, if they don’t understand what you want, explain it to them. “Hello, Mrs. Whatsis. This is So-and-so calling. May I please speak to Whosit?” would be satisfactory.
If they can’t manage to be polite to you, don’t pass on the call. And be sure to explain to your children why they are not receiving calls from their rude friends.
