Dear Queenie,
My husband has a good job and says he doesn’t want me to work, but he doesn’t give me enough money to run the house and I have to beg him for money every time I need something for myself.
It got so bad I just started taking a little money out of his wallet now and then, but he caught on and cursed me and called me a thief. Now he locks his wallet up when he comes home and he still doesn’t give me enough for the house and he still won’t let me get a job.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Desperate wife
Dear Desperate wife,
He won’t let you get a job? What century does he think you are living in? And you, for that matter, for letting him get away with such chauvinism!
First of all, you should consult a lawyer to find out exactly what your husband’s financial obligations to you are. Then tell him what the lawyer said. Or you could have the lawyer explain it to him in person, but that might annoy your husband, because apparently he is in for a rude awakening.
You should also take one of the budgeting courses offered by various organisations, to be sure you know how to manage the money your husband gives you. Try to get him to go with you. It may be an eye-opener for him.
Then, if you really want to, go out, get a job and open a bank account in your own name only. Discuss this with the lawyer also, to be sure you know what your rights and obligations are in this situation.
You and your husband should also consider seeing a marriage counsellor, to try to work out your differences. If he won’t go with you, go alone. Ask your clergyman or the Women’s Desk for a referral.
