Dear Queenie,
I take my son to swimming lessons every week. At our last session, I noticed a small boy who had come out of the water and was visibly shivering. He couldn’t have been more than six or seven. Next to him was his older sister, also a child, but clearly the one responsible for him. The coach noticed the same thing and walked over to ask why the boy didn’t have dry clothes. The sister’s response? “Mind your own business.” To say the coach was surprised would be an understatement. I was too. Not just because of the disrespect, but because of the attitude from someone so young. It made me wonder what kind of guidance some children are getting today. The coach was clearly concerned for the child’s wellbeing, yet the reaction was hostility. I left feeling unsettled. Are adults no longer allowed to step in for a child’s safety without being pushed away? Is this just a moment of rudeness from one child, or are we slowly losing the culture where adults look out for all children? —Concerned at the Pool
Dear Concerned at the Pool,
What you witnessed was not just rudeness. It was a failure somewhere upstream. Children do not invent that kind of response on their own. They learn it. They absorb it from the tone set at home, from how adults speak to teachers, coaches, and anyone who dares to question their behavior. “Mind your own business” from a young child is rarely about confidence. It is usually imitation. And that is where parenting enters the conversation. In Sint Maarten, as in many Caribbean communities, we often say it takes a village to raise a child. But that phrase only works when the village is allowed to function. Coaches checking on a shivering child are not interfering. They are doing exactly what responsible adults should do. Respect for adults is not about blind obedience. It is about recognising that guidance and concern are part of growing up safely. When a child feels comfortable dismissing an adult who is trying to ensure her brother is warm and safe, it suggests she has not been taught the difference between independence and disrespect. That is not the child’s fault. It is the responsibility of the adults raising her. One rude moment does not define a generation. But it does remind us that manners, empathy, and basic respect do not appear magically with age. They must be modeled, reinforced, and expected. If we want communities where adults can still look out for children, then children must also be raised to recognise care when it is offered. Respect, like swimming, is something that must be taught early. —Queenie
