Through Cam's Lens: Trauma

“But I see your true colours

Shining through

I see your true colours

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colours.”

So I’m mad annoyed right. So you’re gonna have to enjoy this rant. Hopefully, I can squeeze in some humour for your amusement.

Aight bet.

It’s ALWAYS “When people show you who they are, believe them” until the person I believe is the person you want me to “intercourse” with. [No I don’t really mean sex, but I can’t curse in these pieces, so you can now think of what I meant by intercourse. Keep it in mind because I might use it again.]

Charlie needs 800 words today, so I got room to mouth off baby!

Aight so let me explain what I meant higher up and use some names for example. Yeah?

Okay bet.

So everyone and their mother tell you to believe people when they show you who they are. Believe people when they show their true colours. So Danielle wants me to believe people when they show me who they are, right. Taniah shows me who she is, and of course I believe her. Why wouldn’t I? BUUUUUUUUUT... Danielle now wants to me to forget what I believed about Taniah.

Excuse me?

I am confusion.

I am discombobulation.

I am lost-ed.

So it’s situational? I only believe some people when they show me who they are? Or you believe everyone, but on occasion you should forget?

I am, unequivocally, confusion.

How?

Trauma. So I have some traumas that I thought I’d healed from, but Will Smith made me realize that I may have just learned to keep them happy with food. But what happens when you run out?

Because of situations growing up with sisters and moms, I feel like I have a “complex” that makes me want to have great relationships with all the women in my life. (Thanks, Will!)

So I go above and beyond to ensure those types of relationships flourish, but it’s outside of the family ties. Interesting. This is really work for a psychologist, but you all will do. Lol.

Can you imagine having a complex that makes you go above and beyond to ensure a relationship flourished and the person treats you like excrement?! That’s some excrement!! LOL.

So because of “trauma x trauma = trauma”, I’ve developed a pretty good wall that keeps toxic people outside. Like you get three strikes (you’re such a liar, you know it’s like 40,11) and then you’re out. BUT Danielle wants me to forget.

Boy look my crossings.

I believe in God right; the Jesus God, eh. And I believe in grace and forgiveness; but my goodness, logic exists too, eh. And at some point, you need to know when someone is only bringing negativity to your life and cut that person off. Like you wouldn’t come play cards with me if I had the Rona. Why you letting toxic people into your house, or your life? (THROWS UP IN MOUTH.)

Is this 800 words yet? Because I’m killing!

I wrote everything to this point in one shot. No rereading, no corrections, nothing. I want y’all to experience the rant like I meant it, because honestly, I’m tired of other human beings. They can be so inconsiderate and selfish and I just can’t deal.

Slept on it. I decided to go to sleep and finish this afterward, because I was really pissed while writing it. Generally, I don’t like being told what to do; I much prefer to be presented with information and left to make decisions on my own. The people that are close to me know that, so I’d assume we wouldn’t have to bump heads where that’s concerned. However, such is life I suppose.

Anyway.

For those of you who already have your tickets, we will see you on the Red Carpet on Friday night for Vision & Voice III. Unfortunately, because of COVID-19 procedures, we won’t be able to host everyone who usually comes out to the show. We had to cut attendance by more than half, but nonetheless, we promise to put on an amazing show. The nerves haven’t started to hit me as yet, but I’m sure after collecting my pictures on Thursday, they’ll kick in.

(Dang! Still didn’t reach 800 words! Close enough…Lol.)

*Yo, Siri, play True Colours by Cyndi Lauper*