Through Cam's Lens: Rebuilding

Through Cam's Lens: Rebuilding

“Birds flying high, you know how I feel

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

Breeze drifting on by, you know how I feel

It's a new dawn, it's a new day"

Well, Charlie threw a huge wrench in my day. Here I was chilling, thinking that I wouldn’t have to activate too many brain cells on this beautiful Tuesday, but she had other plans brewing. It’s probably my punishment for coming into the studio 30 minutes late this morning. Anyway, irrelevant... Let me serve this article on the rocks, because it’s hot, and ice is necessary.

Bad habits are so easy to fall back into, especially when they’re coping mechanisms that bring instant comfort and gratification. I think it’s so crazy that sometimes even when we’re “good”, we revert to “bad” ways, just because we like the feelings they brought us.

I’m in shape, right, but I stepped on the scale on Monday and I saw a number that I haven’t seen since 2012. Even though my body composition is completely different now versus then, seeing that number scared me a bit. Like, am I fat? LOL

This is something that I’ve mentioned before, but I know my body really, really well. I can tell the difference instantly when I’ve gained or lost weight. I can tell when it’s time to take an easy week. I can just tell.

Even though I’ve been good the last couple of weeks (mentally and emotionally), I still find myself stress-eating. It’s just because I like the feeling. I guess the spikes in serotonin are addicting… Lol. And it’s not bad in itself to want that feeling or to enjoy that feeling, but I definitely need to find a better way to find it. And the weight-gain is a DIRECT result of the carbs and sugars I’ve been consuming. It affects that specific area of the body where carb and stress tolerance show their faces.

I’ve been looking for something else to do, though. Claire and I have been looking for different strength programs to follow, and we’ve also contemplated doing kick boxing. I really miss that, but it just doesn’t work out with my schedule. That time of the evening is a hot time. I’m either in The Box training, or on a shoot. Once we decide on what we’re doing, I will let you guys know what’s up.

Netflix and the movies have also been coming through CLUTCH. A lot of my shows have come out with new seasons recently and that has been keeping me occupied and happy. The movies have also been dropping some bangers lately, so I’ve been back on my movie vibe. At this point, I should be a platinum member of Caribbean Cinemas. I love watching movies and series. They help me to zone out and just get engulfed in that moment. Cinematically it also helps me to study lighting and camera movement. I like that.

I guess the moral here is that sometimes we develop bad habits to help us cope with stress and negative situations. It brings us peace and comfort and happiness in those low moments, and who cares about consequences once they’re feeling good?! However, once we’ve gotten out of those bad places, we still revert to those bad coping mechanisms sometimes. We long for the feeling. So we need to watch that. We need to find healthy serotonin options, lest you end up watching the scale and seeing scary numbers. LOL!

*Yo, Siri, play Feeling Good by Lauryn Hill*