Dear Queenie,
I don't speak Dutch, however, I enrolled my little one in an all-Dutch elementary school with Dutch as the language of instruction in the hopes that the youngster will take to the language and eventually become proficient in it.
I enrolled the child in a Dutch afternoon school program, we read at home in Dutch nightly for ½ hour, watch appropriate Dutch television programs yet my little one still hasn't caught on to the language after 3 years in the all-Dutch school.
Now I feel guilty for making the initial decision as the youngster now struggles to keep up.
Queenie, can your child fluently speak and master another language in school even if you don't speak that language?—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
As you have seen, sending your child to a school where the language of instruction is one the child does not speak or understand is not a good idea, as the child will not be able to keep up with his or her normal school subjects.
I suggest you send your child to a school where the language of instruction is one the child already speaks and understands and he/she can do well in the subjects being taught, including, if it is offered, a course in Dutch as a second language. If such a course is not offered in the school, you can send him/her to an afternoon programme where Dutch is taught as a second language.
And, if your schedule permits, you might even want to join your child in that afternoon programme.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been dating a man for a couple of years. We don’t live together but we spend long weekends (Thursday to Sunday) together at his house. He says the rest of the week is when he likes to be alone and I can email or text him during that time but I can’t go to his house and he won’t answer if I call him.
I don’t really know how he feels about me. If I tell him I love him he will say it back, but he never says he loves me unless I say I love him first.
I don’t need for us to get married, but I would like to have a full-time relationship.
Queenie, do you think I have a chance for what I want?—Part-time girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
No, I do not think so.
Also, I seriously wonder whether your boyfriend is really spending Monday to Wednesday alone, or if he has another “part-time girlfriend” with whom he spends that part of every week.
Dear Queenie,
My son has been dating a woman for over a year but when he tries to break up with her she tells him if that happens she will kill herself.
Queenie, what can I tell him about how to deal with this?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
What this manipulative woman does to your son is emotional blackmail. He should tell her that she alone is responsible for her welfare and it is not up to him to guarantee her happiness. He should also tell her family about her behaviour so they can get her the psychological help she apparently needs.
Dear Queenie,
The women I date tell me they feel safe with me because they know I won’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do.
Queenie, what are they really trying to say?—Confused
Dear Confused,
They may be trying to pay you a compliment, or they may be trying to tell you their interest in you is only as a friend – or some of them may have dated men who tried to force them into doing things they did not want to do.
Ask some of your female relatives and/or married women who are your friends what they think makes your dates react to you like this. Their answers should be interesting.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and his previous wife have joint custody of their children. When they are with him they pester me all the time wanting to sit on my lap or show me something or tell me something or settle an argument they have.
Sometimes they’re cute and we have fun, but not always.
Queenie, will it always be like this? I don’t know how much I can take!—Harassed second wife
Dear Second wife,
Face it, you are the children’s stepmother and they are treating you like a (second) mother. Actually, it is quite a compliment.
Try to arrange to deal with the children one at a time while your husband, their father, spends time with the others.
And be patient. As the children grow older they will develop outside interests and will want to spend less time with their parents. When that time comes you may even find that you miss them.
