Dear Queenie,
I was at the supermarket the other day and someone else in the checkout line said I must be going to have a party and a lot of fun because I was buying so much liquor.
Actually, the liquor was for my husband, who drinks so much he passes out almost every day.
Queenie, why do people think a lot of booze is “fun”?—Drunk’s wife
Dear Wife,
Apparently your husband is an alcoholic – addicted to alcohol. Why are you enabling him by providing him with liquor? If he were a drug addict would you buy him his drugs?
Instead of supporting his addiction, you should be encouraging him to try to fight it, perhaps with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous (see Agenda on page 2 of this newspaper). You can find some help for yourself through Al-Anon or a similar organisation such as SMART Recovery online.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s boyfriend stays up late at night playing computer games and then can’t wake up until noon or later. He can’t get a good job because of his sleeping habit.
My smart beautiful daughter has a great job and supports both of them. She told me her boyfriend will inherit some money from a relative who died recently and says he will buy her an engagement ring.
Queenie, I will be happier if she never marries him. What can I say if they actually get engaged?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Smile and do not say anything negative. If this man loves your daughter a lot it may make up for his less-attractive qualities.
Dear Queenie,
Many years ago I was engaged to get married but my fiancé broke the engagement and later married someone else. Recently he got in touch with me and apologized for what he did back then and said he was divorced and wanted to get back in touch with me again.
I’ve gotten over him and what he did to me back then, but I’m not with anyone right now and I’m curious about what he’s like now.
Queenie, should I take a chance and meet up with him and see what happens?—Ex-fiancée
Dear Ex-fiancée,
Yes, meet up with him and see what he is like now. But if he wants any kind of close relationship with you, you should insist on professional couple’s counselling to learn about what went wrong the first time you were with him and make sure it does not happen again.
Dear Queenie,
Now that travel restrictions are loosening up, my family wants to come visit me and my husband for the holidays. I would love to see them again, but when they used to come before they never did anything to help out with all the extra work and expense, like offer to take us out for dinner or buy some supplies, or help with all the extra housework and cooking.
Queenie, how can I make things better?—Overworked hostess
Dear Hostess,
Speak up! Tell them you would love to see them, but that you will expect them to help pay for the additional supplies and to help you with all the extra work you will have to do.
When they are staying with you, speak up again. If possible, take them with you when you go shopping for supplies and ask them for money to help pay the bill. And do not be afraid to ask them for help when you are doing the housework and cooking.
Dear Queenie,
I don’t like talking to my husband’s family about anything personal because they are gossipy people and whatever I tell them will get spread all over the island, especially now with “social media”. But if I don’t talk to them about what I’ve been doing they tell me not to be so “stuck-up”.
Queenie, how can I avoid telling them what I’ve been doing without them getting vexed?—Fed up with gossip
Dear Fed up,
Tell them all the little stuff that really does not matter to you, like a new recipe you tried out and liked or a new place you found to shop for clothes (the proprietor surely will appreciate the word-of-mouth advertising).
Beyond that, just change the subject by asking them about themselves – surely they will be delighted to bend your ear with all that gossip and you might even learn something about them worth knowing.
