Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend still keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriends and helps them out with things like taking care of their pets when they go away, or fixing things in their homes. On the other hand, I have one ex-husband and we have a daughter who lives with me and visits her father quite often.
I have never said anything to my boyfriend about his exes, but when my daughter wanted to invite her father to her birthday party with our family my boyfriend had a fit. He said my ex isn’t part of my family anymore.
Queenie, what do you say?—Caught in the middle
Dear Caught,
I say it was your daughter’s party and her father is still part of her family, even though he is not part of yours anymore, and your boyfriend needs to accept that fact.
I also say you should be concerned about the way your boyfriend wants to have contact with whomever he chooses, but does not want to allow you the same privilege.
Dear Queenie,
One of my teachers in high school is very handsome and I like him a lot. When he comes near me I get so distracted that I can’t concentrate on what I’m supposed to be doing. He’s in his 20s and I’ve just started high school.
Queenie, what can I do?—Teenager with a crush
Dear Teenager,
This kind of thing is very common and teachers learn to deal with it.
Try to concentrate on your schoolwork and not stare at him.
Your feelings for him probably will start to fade away when you meet an attractive boy closer to your own age.
Dear Queenie,
Some bad things happened to me when I was a child and I am still afraid of the dark, and I still sleep with a “baby blanket” that I’ve had since I was little. I’ve had counselling for all this, but it didn’t do me any good.
This hasn’t been a problem for me up to now because I’ve always lived at home with my parents, but soon I will be going away to college and living in a dorm and I got teased about it when I was in high school and I don’t expect college-age kids will be much different.
Queenie, can you tell me how I can learn to give up my baby blanket?—Scared of the dark
Dear Scared,
You might not have to give up your blanket if you have it made into what they call a “huggy pillow”. That way it will not look like a little child’s baby blanket and sleeping with two pillows is a common-enough habit that I do not think anyone will tease you about it. And I wish you good fortune in your new stage of life.
Dear Queenie,
My husband is a vegetarian and would never hurt anyone, but he still owns a gun. He says he has it for protection if anyone ever tries to break into our house or attack us.
I don’t believe in having a gun in a house where there are children, because there might be an accident or a child might find the gun and play with it and hurt themself or someone else.
Queenie, how can I get him to get rid of the gun or at least not keep it in the house when we start to have children?—Worried mother-to-be
Dear Mother-to-be,
Perhaps you can persuade your husband to equip his gun with a trigger lock, or keep it in a gun safe. Otherwise, you should think carefully about having children with a man who is so attached to his weapon.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I have been married for a long time and have 3 school-age children. We both have good jobs and live well, even these days with all the pandemic and other problems.
The problem is my wife – who goes out jogging for an hour or two a day – is always too tired to have sex and I’m starting to wonder if she is cheating on me.
We are going for counselling, but it hasn’t helped.
Queenie, can you help me?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
I cannot tell you whether your wife is meeting someone else when she is out jogging. But it is also possible that your wife is just tired of being a wife and mother and someone’s employee all the time and just wants some time with something she does just for herself. And/or she could be having some hormonal problem(s).
Has she talked to her doctor about this? Do you help her with housework and taking care of the children? Do you treat her “romantically” without expecting sex?
If the answer to all these questions is “yes” and there is still a problem, bring it up in a counselling session and ask your wife for an explanation.
