Dear Queenie,

  My wife and I are retired. Her daughter is a successful businesswoman who has a habit of dropping in to visit while we are having dinner. We have invited her to join us, but she doesn’t eat with us, she just sits there and chats.

  Queenie, isn’t this rude?—Annoyed stepfather

Dear Stepfather,

  If your stepdaughter expects you to stop eating to visit with her, yes, it is rude. But if she expects you to go on eating while she visits with you but chooses not to eat, I do not see any real problem.

Dear Queenie,

  I see people using their phone in public in all kinds of situations where I was taught that doing that is bad manners.

  Queenie, what are the rules now for using a phone in public?—Smart-phone Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  The rules of etiquette have not changed, only the fact that now people can take their phones with them when they go out in public.

  Taking a call when you are with someone else is still rude, unless it is an emergency, in which case ask to be excused, step away and do not talk too loudly.

  If someone else answers a call or plays a game or uses an app while talking to you, tell them you can see they are busy and that you will see them some other time. If that does not get them to put the phone away and pay attention to you, just walk away. And if they ever complain about your doing so, tell them (again) why you did it.

Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend and I live together in his house. I pay my own bills and I help pay the mortgage but he owns the house alone. I’m afraid I might lose my job and not be able to help pay the mortgage.

  Queenie, shouldn’t I be able to expect him to help me out if I lose my job?— Worried girlfriend  

Dear Girlfriend,

  If you were married or at least officially engaged to this man, yes, you should be able to expect him to help you out when things get rough. However, because you are not officially married or engaged he apparently feels no obligation and it is not certain that you will ever see any benefit from helping him out with his mortgage other than having a place to live for the moment.

  Talk this over with him, if you have not done so already, before you give him any more money. It is possible that he simply considers the money you give him for the mortgage as “rent”.

Dear Queenie,

  I’ve been living with my boyfriend for about a year, after we dated for about 6 months. Before we met he was going with another girl. She was always friends with his sister and still is, and since we got together the ex has been very nasty to me and his sister won’t, or can’t, do anything about it. This is causing my boyfriend to have a difficult relationship with his sister.

  Queenie, is there anything I can do about all this?—Concerned girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

  You will have to learn to ignore the situation. Whether the sister is doing this to aggravate you or just does not want to give up her friendship with this woman, their friendship is none of your business.

  What is important is your boyfriend’s relationship with his sister. If you can manage to ignore her friendship with his ex, it will make things easier for him and he will be grateful.