Dear Queenie,
When I have guests for a meal I serve the food buffet-style. There is one person who always gets in line first for the buffet and takes the best parts of everything and leaves the rest for the others.
I have asked this person not to do this, but they still do it.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Fed-up hostess
Dear Hostess,
Stop serving your guests buffet-style. Seat them all at a large table and pass the serving dishes around, making sure that this person is far from the first to be served. Or, make up a plate for each guest in the kitchen.
Dear Queenie,
I am a slender woman but I have rather large breasts. Some other women seem to think that means they must be fake and that I must be rather “free” with men. There are even some of them who have gone so far as to try to feel my breasts to see if they are real.
One time at a party I walked away from someone who was doing that and she started shouting at me.
Queenie, how can I handle such situations?—Overendowed
Dear Overendowed,
If anyone tries to touch any part of you without even asking for your permission, ask them politely (but not especially quietly) not to touch you. And if they ask questions about your breasts, just tell them that, yes, your breasts are real, and ask them why they (are so rude as to) ask such a question.
Dear Queenie,
I have a certain mental disorder that doesn’t stop me from getting along in life but does make it more difficult. I’m getting treated for it but it does make life more difficult.
Queenie, when should I tell someone I’m dating that I have a mental health problem?—Not crazy
Dear Not crazy,
Any kind of health information is personal and can be kept confidential until the other person has a good reason to know about it. When you reach that point, you should tell them about the disorder and about the treatment you are receiving.
Dear Queenie,
My mother has never liked my wife and has always been mean to her, even telling other people bad lies about her. I have tried to get her to be polite to my wife at least, but she doesn’t listen to anything I say, she just says I don’t see the real person my wife is. Now our grownup son is getting married and my mother has told his fiancée all sorts of lies about my wife and the poor girl is already scared of her soon-to-be mother-in-law.
What’s worse is that my father is very sick and my mother doesn’t tell us how he is doing or answer our phone calls to ask about him. We only found out about it from someone else in the family long after it happened.
Queenie, my mother seems lost to us, but how can we keep in touch with my father?—Worried son
Dear Son,
Arrange with some other member(s) of your family, especially your father’s relatives, to keep you up to date on his condition, and to help you visit him if possible. They can also tell your son’s fiancée the truth about your wife.
As for your mother, there is not much, if anything, you can do about her behaviour. To be honest, she seems to be at least a little bit mentally unstable.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend never pays me any kind of compliment about how I look. If I ask him how he likes it he just says it’s okay.
Queenie, I wish he would tell me if he likes or doesn’t like something about my makeup or my clothes or whatever.—Trying to please him
Dear Trying,
Have you told him how you feel about this? If not, do so. If you have told him, tell him again and say that you really would appreciate his response, even if it is not positive.
