Dear Queenie,
One day on my way to work, while waiting for the bus across from a school, I saw a scene in the school that I could not just simply ignore, maybe because I am a mother too.
I saw a teacher and a girl student talking outside the classroom. At first I thought it was just a simple conversation, but not until I heard a bad word in Papiamentu from the teacher.
I don’t speak the language, but I am fully aware that it is a bad word and it’s not right to use it in front of kids, especially if it’s coming from the mouth of a supposedly well-respected person like a teacher.
The teacher told the girl to go inside the classroom and then I saw this teacher hit the girl’s head in front of the whole class. She also hit her on the back and pushed her into the classroom.
Then the teacher started to talk to a boy student and started screaming, “No, I had enough of you,” and walked to her vehicle and drove it away.
This scene really broke my heart and I thank God my kids don’t attend that school. Doesn’t this teacher need to get reported to the school superintendent? How are parents still to trust teachers?
Advise me, Queenie.—Concerned parent
Dear Concerned parent,
Yes, if this teacher struck a student and used bad language to her, she should be reported to the proper authorities. However, it is the person who saw the incident who has to make the report; that is, you.
Furthermore, there are two sides to every story. You seem to have heard clearly enough what the teacher was saying. What were the students saying, and how were they behaving? Were they also using bad language? Behaving disrespectfully?
While I don’t condone a teacher behaving the way you describe, I am sadly aware that some schoolchildren these days could try the patience of a saint, let alone an overworked, underpaid pedagogue.
Dear Queenie,
I married my husband a bit more than three years ago. It has become completely necessary for me to consider having at least two children (this year I will be 34). My husband never had a problem with children in the past until now that we have to start working on making them.
I love my husband but I have always wanted children. I have waited and postponed having children so that when we do have them we would have the finances to be able to accommodate then and to provide them with the best possible living environment.
The truth is I am sick of fighting with my husband on the children issue. I am running out of patience, especially bearing in mind that my husband already has kids. Even though my husband has two kids he is unable to understand how important it is to me who don’t have any and always wanted to.
Queenie, is this to much to ask of my husband?—Desperate wife
Dear Desperate wife,
Did you discuss this issue with your husband before you married him? Or were you afraid to bring it up because it might have made a difference in how he felt about you?
It is often hard for a man, especially one who doesn’t care one way or the other about children, to understand what having them means to a woman. Your husband may feel that the two children he already has are enough. If so, having more may well be too much to ask of him.
In any event, it is important for you to talk this issue over with him now without fighting about it, to try to understand how he feels and to try to make him understand how important it is to you. Counselling might help. And a compromise may be necessary. Perhaps you could agree to settle for one child instead of “at least two.”
In the end you may have to choose between your husband and the possibility of having children. Be sure you are prepared to make the correct choice – only you can decide what that will be – and to live with the consequences.
Whatever you do, do not get pregnant “accidentally on purpose.” The effects on your marriage could be disastrous.
Dear Queenie,
A friend and I have another best friend who’s been with us for years! Lately she’s becoming rather clingy and sort of copying what we do. It really bugs us and we were kind of mean to her a year ago because of the influence of another friend.
We’re sort of close now, but I get angry whenever she doesn’t stand up for us or she even copies us! It gets really annoying when she pretends to like something for the sake of people liking her. She jumbles up her stories about her life and whenever we refer to what she has done she changes it again and again!
We don’t want to confront her, not even gently, because she and her family are going down a bumpy road.
Queenie, we love her to death, but we can’t stand her most of the time! What to do?—3rd Musketeer
Dear 3rd Musketeer,
It has been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but any kind of flattery can become tiresome. And “enhancing” the truth is never a good idea.
Sit down with her and explain, in a non-confrontational manner, how you feel about what she does, and why it would be a good idea for her to change these annoying ways. Perhaps you can help her to modify her behaviour. If not, you may have to distance yourselves from her, for all your sakes.
Dear Queenie,
I go to a private school and I work really hard in school to please my parents. Many people think most of us are “pampered spoiled rich kids”, but we aren’t all like that!
Last year at a social event a couple of my female friends and I were polite to the volunteers passing out food. We said “please” and “thank you” to prove we aren’t rude or anything. One of my friends overheard them talking about us putting on an act just ’cause we’re “rich.”
I really can’t stand that people see us like that. I was really proud when one of us got recognition in Teen Times some years ago and they said how we try to find our place and that we aren’t just a bunch of rich kids.
Queenie, just like everybody else we have the exact same problems as them!—Like everybody else
Dear Like everybody else,
Well, maybe not quite the same problems. Your parents can afford to choose what school you go to and can afford to pay for private school.
And considering how many members of your age group are rude, uncouth, rebellious and even downright delinquent, I wouldn’t be so quick to claim to be “like everybody else” if I were you.
No matter what you do, someone will find a reason to criticise you. Don’t pay any attention to them, and try not to let what they say bother you. Remind yourself that it’s the empty heads that make the most noise.
Just concentrate on doing what you know to be right and I’m sure your parents, and the community in general, will be proud of you.
Dear Queenie,
I read in the newspaper about children who make their Carnival or other costumes out of newspaper. My God! Don’t the adults in charge of them know how dangerous this is?
Commercially-made costumes, like for Halloween and all, have to be specially treated to make them fireproof, or at least fire resistant, no matter what they are made of – fabric, paper, whatever. I doubt the same can be said for these homemade paper costumes.
All it would take would be one careless person with a lit cigarette and maybe a little puff of wind and some poor kid(s) would go up in flames like fireworks on New Year’s Eve.
Queenie, what will it take, a tragedy like happened to Afoo, to make people think about the risks they are taking?—Appalled
Dear Appalled,
You have given us all food for thought today. I hope the Carnival committees and school authorities will take proper note. Thank you for writing.
