Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 50s and my wife is about 10 years younger. I don’t drink, smoke, gamble, flirt with other women or spend a lot of money, so I don’t understand why for the past few years my wife has just seemed to be turned off by me. When we do things together she is fine, but there is no affection from her.
Queenie, I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. What can I do about it?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
Have you tried to talk to your wife about this? If she is in her 40s she may be going through menopause, which can have a serious effect on a woman’s libido and other psychological effects as well.
Does your wife have regular medical check-ups? If so, what does her doctor have to say? And if not, she should have a complete check-up right away and, if possible, you should go with her to hear what the doctor says.
If all this does not help you to understand what is happening with her, perhaps a marriage counsellor could help you understand what the problem may be and how to deal with it.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are quite well off and have everything we need or even want. All the same, our children – all grown up – keep giving us all sorts of presents on special occasions like birthdays and holidays, and most of the stuff they give us just ends up cluttering our cupboards and closets.
Queenie, how can we make them understand that we would rather just get a nice card and maybe a recent picture of them and/or our grandchildren?—Fed-up Mom
Dear Mom,
Tell them – gently, sweetly – what you have told me. And if they continue to shower you with unwanted “stuff”, you can always thank them for it and then donate it to a charitable organisation that will pass it on to someone who really needs it.
Dear Queenie,
My husband likes to smell the underpants I have been wearing.
Queenie, why does he do this? Should I be worried about it?—Puzzled wife
Dear Wife,
The scent of a woman’s private parts apparently turns your husband on. This is not uncommon for men. As long as everything else about your sex life – and marriage as a whole – is normal and good, I do not think you have anything to worry about.
Dear Queenie,
When I was on a bus the other day we were caught in traffic and one of the other passengers started complaining – very loudly – about how long the trip was taking. I just put on my earphones and started listening to music.
Queenie, should I have pointed out that it wasn’t the driver’s fault and asked her politely to please shut up?—Another passenger
Dear Passenger,
It would have been good if you could have moved further away from that loud-mouthed fellow passenger. That not being possible, what you did was quite appropriate. It would not have been a good idea to speak to her, as it probably would just have gotten you involved in an argument with what appears to have been a rather unpleasant person.
Dear Queenie,
I just started high school and there is a girl I would like to get to know better but I don’t know how to go about it. Up to now all my friends have been boys like me, mostly ones I’ve known all my life because they are the children of my parents’ friends.
Queenie, how do I go about getting to know a girl?—Bashful boy
Dear Boy,
This is a common problem for children your age, both boys and girls.
If the girl is not already acquainted with you, smile and introduce yourself and ask a question about a class assignment or some activity in which she is involved, or simply pay her a compliment, perhaps about the way she looks or something you have seen her do. If you are with a group of other boys and girls, ask her if she would like to join you. Good luck!
