Dear Queenie,
I’m a little bit overweight, maybe about 10 or 15 pounds, but my wife acts like it was about 50 and is always after me to lose more. She says I would lose the weight if I respected her. I did lose some of the fat, but gained it back again because I eat too much when I get upset.
I went for counselling like you always advise, and it helped a little, but she wouldn’t go with me.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Pudgy hubby
Dear Hubby,
Ask your counsellor that question. I suspect he (or she) will tell you it is time to decide whether you want to stay married to this woman, who sounds like a verbal abuser, and maybe the possibility of losing you will shock your wife into getting some counselling for herself and changing her attitude and behaviour.
Dear Queenie,
My husband is a loving man who doesn’t abuse me or try to control me, but he also doesn’t try to control our teenage son or make him live by normal family and household rules like what time he should be home when he goes out at night, and he lets his parents make a lot of decisions for us that we should be making just between the 2 of us.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about all this?—Disgusted wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband would benefit from professional counselling to help him learn to grow up and take responsibility for his family rather than continue letting his parents do his job for him. And perhaps a little counselling for yourself would help you figure out how to persuade your husband to get the counselling he needs.
Dear Queenie,
When I retired I moved to a new home in a place I have always loved but didn’t know anyone there. There aren’t many activities for us older folks and I haven’t met many people or made any new friends.
Queenie, I really don’t want to move back to where I used to live. What can you suggest?—Retired senior citizen
Dear Retiree,
Join a church of whatever faith you grew up in, or a social organisation that deals in things that interest you, or any volunteer group that can make good use of the skills you have developed.
These do not have to be only “senior” groups – people of all ages can become your friends and you may have a lot to offer to the younger ones.
Dear Queenie,
My parents wouldn’t let me get a driver’s license until I had learned to drive a stick-shift car and how to change a tire and check the oil and keep up all the other fluids.
Queenie, I think every woman should be able to do these things. Do you agree?—Independent woman driver
Dear Woman driver,
I agree! And any woman who cannot do these things for herself should belong to some group (like AAA in the USA) that she can call when she needs them.
Dear Queenie,
My son is a high school graduate, but he has no plans to go to college and doesn’t even try to get a job, he just stays in his room and plays on his computer. He doesn’t do drugs and like I said, he never goes out at night or any time.
Queenie, we can’t just throw him out to live on the street. What can we do?—Concerned Dad
Dear Dad,
Your son’s behaviour is more than laziness or being spoiled, there is a possibility of mental illness here. However, he may refuse help if you offer it, so consult your family physician who can suggest sources of help for both you and your son.
