Dear Queenie,
My grandsons are 6 and 10 years old and they both sleep in the same king-size bed. Their mother has been divorced from their father, my son, since they were much younger and she has gotten into the habit of getting in the bed to sleep with them. The boys think they are too old for this and they have told her so and asked her to stop, but she still does it.
Queenie, is there any way I can help the children get her to stop?—Grampa
Dear Grampa,
Your ex-daughter-in-law may find that sleeping with her children is comforting and eases her loneliness, but she should not be doing it if the children object, especially as they are getting older.
You and their mother (and their father, if he is still close to his sons), should discuss this with their paediatrician, and possibly a psychological therapist for professional advice. Surely their mother wants what is best for her children!
Dear Queenie,
I got pregnant for a man who doesn’t know how to manage his money. He wants to be father to this child when it is born, but not support it financially.
Meanwhile, I am thinking of getting back together with the man I used to be with before I met the baby’s father.
Queenie, what should I do?—Can’t decide what to do
Dear Can’t decide,
Does your ex know you want to get back together with him? And does he know you are pregnant with another man’s baby? He should know everything about the baby before you talk about getting back together, because he probably will not take it well if he finds out afterward that you have kept such important information to yourself.
Get professional legal advice regarding the baby’s father to establish exactly what his rights and responsibilities are in relation to his offspring.
And from now on use birth control when you have sex with a man, unless you intend to get pregnant.
Dear Queenie,
My mother eats a lot of junk food and is very fat. I tried to talk to her about watching her diet and losing some weight but it didn’t make any difference.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried daughter
Dear Daughter,
You have talked to your mother about this and it did not help. Is your father in the picture on all this? If he is, maybe if he says something it will help, or maybe he already has spoken his piece and your mother ignored him. Beyond all that, until your mother decides for herself to eat better and lose some weight, there is nothing more you can do.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s husband left her after their children grew up and now they are divorced, but she still sends him a card on his birthday and holidays and she expects me to send him cards too because he is still my grandchildren’s father.
Queenie, do I have to?—Annoyed ex-mother-in-law
Dear Annoyed,
You do not have to send him such cards, or have any contact with him at all, but it would be nice of you to do so, if only for your grandchildren’s sake.
Dear Queenie,
My sister’s children do not call me “Aunt”, they just call me by my name the same as their parents.
Queenie, I find this very rude. What do you think?—Offended aunt
Dear Offended aunt,
You should talk to your sister about this. Childen repeat what they hear their parents say, and it is up to the parents to explain to them what they should call you and how they should address you, and to enforce the rule.
