Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend says I’m exactly what he wants in a wife except that I look like his mother.
I always heard men tend to marry women who remind them of their mother.
Queenie, what do you think he means and why is this a problem for him?—Confused
Dear Confused,
Before you go rushing out to have plastic surgery, you need to meet his mother.
Does he just mean you have a strong physical resemblance to a woman a generation older than yourself or are you actually that much older than your boyfriend?
Or does he have such a poor relationship with his mother that any slight resemblance, whether physical or behavioural, is a turnoff for him?
Once you have the answers to these questions you will have a better idea what his problem is and what, if anything, you want to do about it.
Dear Queenie,
Last year my wife gained a lot of weight so I suggested she might want to go shopping for some new clothes that she wouldn’t be busting out of. Instead she went on a diet and lost all that weight until her clothes fit her again.
The problem is she is still dieting and I’m afraid she is getting too skinny, but when I suggest that it’s time to quit the diet she gets mad and says if she does I will tell her how fat she is.
Queenie, what should I do?—Worried husband
Dear Queenie,
My first wife and I got divorced many years ago and eventually she remarried, to a man much richer than I am. Now our daughter is getting married and they are planning a fancy expensive wedding, much more than I can afford.
Queenie, do I have to pay half the cost of this wedding even though I have no say in the wedding plans?—Wedding woes
Dear Wedding woes,
You have no obligation to pay anything toward your daughter’s wedding, especially if you have not been included in the planning thereof, unless such obligation is spelled out in your divorce agreement. However, it would be decent of you to contribute what you can afford. Figure out what that amount is and inform your ex and your daughter how much you will give them, and why only that much.
Dear Queenie,
My son is in high school. Most of his friends that he hangs out with are girls. He has some friends who are boys, but they are also friends with other boys my son doesn’t like very much, so he doesn’t hang out with them when they are with those other boys. Also, he isn’t into sports very much, he prefers reading and computer games.
Queenie, should I be worried about him?—Concerned mother
Dear Mother,
Some boys just are not athletic and do not like the kind of roughhousing other boys their age indulge in, so they feel less threatened in the company of girls.
I am glad to know your son likes to read as well as playing computer games, which can be addictive.
As long as he is happy and is doing well in school I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
Dear Queenie,
I do private tutoring and very often a student will miss a session and then the parents don’t want to pay. That is a financial loss for me, because I could have been working with someone else in that time if I hadn’t reserved it for the one who didn’t show up.
Queenie, shouldn’t they have to pay for missed sessions?—Cheated
Dear Cheated,
Of course they should pay if they miss a session without sufficient advance notice. But you will have to make it clear to the parents from the start that this is your policy and how much advance notice you will expect. And inform your current students’ parents of this new policy at least a month before you put it into effect, to give them a chance to adjust to it.
