Dear Queenie,
My husband dotes on our daughter, but it seems there is nothing our son can do that he approves of. He says he isn’t going to coddle our son because he has to learn to “man up” but I think the way he treats him is nothing less than abusive.
Our son says things aren’t that bad, but our daughter says it scares her the way her father talks to her brother.
Queenie, what can I do?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
You can get professional help. Talk to your son’s school counsellor, if he has one, or perhaps your family doctor can recommend someone. The doctor also can determine whether this treatment is having an adverse effect on your children’s health, such as stress or even ulcers, and may recommend treatment, even counselling for them – which might turn out to be a wake-up call for your husband.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and he is vexed because I will get to parade down the aisle escorted by my father while he just stands at the altar waiting for me. I tried to explain to him that this is traditional, but he’s still jealous of all the attention I will be getting.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Bride-to-be
Dear Bride-to-be,
Will your fiancé (bridegroom) also throw a tantrum if the piece of wedding cake you feed him at the reception is not as big as the one he feeds you? He seems rather childish to me.
Why not have his parents walk him down the aisle to the altar before you make your grand entrance? And if that makes him look like he has to be hustled up to the ceremony, well, he asked for it!
Dear Queenie,
I’m not a “party person.” I don’t like large gatherings of people I don’t know very well where there’s a lot of drinking and loud music and such. I prefer to go out once in a while with one or two friends to a quiet restaurant where we can have a nice conversation without having to shout at each other. The rest of the time I’d rather be by myself, read a book or watch TV.
My sister says this makes me antisocial.
Queenie, is she right?—Introvert
Dear Introvert,
Some people just prefer peace and quiet to the party scene and apparently you are such a person. That does not mean you are antisocial. Your sister is way off-base.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I do not like his family very much, but they seem to be fond of us, because they call every so often, send us Christmas cards and gift and so on.
The problem is he refuses to have anything to do with them, so I get stuck answering the phone and making excuses why he can’t talk to them, sending “thank you” notes, etc, etc.
Queenie, how can I get him to step up and deal with them?—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
As long as you cover for your husband things will not change. If you want him to deal with his family you will have to stop doing it for him. And if they ask you why the sudden change, tell them to ask him if they can manage to get his attention.
Dear Queenie,
My husband is planning to go to his college class reunion, but he says I’m not invited and he’s going to stay with some old college buddies. Kind of a “boys only” weekend. I just can’t help wondering what that means.
Queenie, what do you think it means?—Suspicious wife
Dear Suspicious,
I suspect it means your husband is looking forward to reliving his “frat party” days and, depending on how long ago they were, may well regret it afterward.
If this is the only reason you have to be suspicious of your husband I suggest you simply plan a “girls weekend” with some friends and enjoy every minute of your husband’s absence.
