Dear Queenie,
My children get a lot of gifts from their aunts and uncles on special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. I know they are supposed to write a “thank you” note for each gift, but they hate to do it and it’s a real battle to get them to write each one.
Queenie, how do we get them to write the notes, or should we do it for them?—Gift Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
No, do not write the notes for them!!! Your children should learn courtesy from an early age.
I suggest that you do not let your children play with their gifts – or spend any money they receive – until they have written a “thank you” note for the gift. Hopefully, that will provide the incentive they need even more than any nagging on your part.
Dear Queenie,
The other day I was at the grocery store with my wife. I was pushing the cart a little way behind her and when she got into a checkout line another woman got in line right behind her before I got there, so I got in line behind the other woman who had a full cart.
My wife waved to me to push past the other woman but I thought that woman got there before me so she should go before me.
Queenie, who was right?—Shopping Etty Ket
Dear Shopping,
Your wife could have explained to the woman that you were with her (your wife) and asked the woman to let you pass. Or you could have explained to the woman that you were with your wife who was ahead of her, and asked the woman to let you join your wife. The woman probably would have let you pass, especially if you only had a few items, but it seems to me the whole situation was not worth making an issue of.
Dear Queenie,
The other night I was at a dinner party at a friend’s house and all through the meal the woman next to me turned toward the woman on her other side to talk to her, completely blocking me out of the conversation, and there was no one on my other side for me to talk to.
I’ve been at other events with these two and they always do the same thing.
Queenie, how do you deal with someone so rude?—Offended guest
Dear Offended,
You ask the woman on this person’s other side – politely, please – to switch places with you so you can have someone to talk to. And you suggest to the hosts that they arrange the seating so that these two can hold their conversations without isolating anybody.
Dear Queenie,
My sister has two kids, a son and a daughter. The boy is adorable, but I just don’t like the girl. I know it’s not fair and I don’t want to play favorites, but I just don’t like her.
Queenie, how can I get over this?—Worried auntie
Dear Auntie,
Sit down and make a list of at least 10 things about this girl that you at least approve of. Do not let yourself say anything negative about her and force yourself, if you must, to say nice things about and to her.
If the problem is your attitude, you will find yourself changing little by little. If the problem is the way she reacts to your attitude, she will reflect your change in behaviour.
Dear Queenie,
My best friend thinks there is something wrong with my marriage because my husband and I almost never disagree about anything, let alone have real arguments.
Queenie, do you think she is right?—Happily married
Dear Happily married,
If you and your husband tend to agree with each other just to keep peace in the family, your friend may have a point. Disagreements should be worked out (peacefully, please!) not buried.
However, if you really both think the same way about most things, you are lucky to have found a truly compatible mate. Count your blessings!
