Dear Queenie,
My daughter and her fiancé live in St. Maarten and are planning to get married there. We will pay for the wedding and would like to have it here where we live (not St. Maarten) so all our family can attend, but they want it in St. Maarten.
Queenie, what do you think would be best?—Mother of the bride
Dear Mother,
If your daughter and her new husband will be visiting or returning to your home by or before their first anniversary, let them have a small wedding now and plan a big reception where you live when they are there – if it is on or about their first anniversary, it can be an anniversary party rather than a wedding reception.
However, if that will not be the case, let them plan a big wedding in St. Maarten. It is a beautiful place for such festivities and many people will be delighted to attend a destination wedding. Those who do not attend can meet your new son-in-law at a less formal affair at your home sometime later.
Dear Queenie,
I just found out that the guy I’ve been dating has some other woman living with him.
Queenie, why would he start seeing me if he already is living with someone else?—Confused
Dear Confused,
It could be that he is an habitual cheat.
However, it could be that the woman he is living with is not a girlfriend (or wife), but a relative or even just a roommate with whom he shares expenses.
Ask your boyfriend to introduce you to her, get to know her. You will know by her behaviour – and his – what to think about their relationship.
Dear Queenie,
I just found out that instead of leaving all their property to me and my sisters and brothers, my parents put it in their will that half of what they have is to go to certain charities.
Queenie, is this right? Shouldn’t parents leave what they have to their children?—Cheated son
Dear Cheated,
An attorney can explain to you just what rights of inheritance you have under local law, and surely the notary or attorney who drew up your parents’ will(s) explained it all to them, but beyond that your parents’ property is theirs to dispose of as they see fit and you have nothing to say in the matter.
Dear Queenie,
I got divorced because my (ex-)husband cheated on me. It was terrible to find out what he was doing and the divorce was traumatic too.
My best friend helped me as best she could through it all and I couldn’t have gotten through it without her. The thing is, now she has fallen in love with a married man and they are having an affair.
She and her boyfriend are doing to his wife just what my ex did to me and I think it’s just disgusting, but when I try to talk to her about it she just won’t listen and it’s getting so I just can’t stand being around her, but I can’t bear to think of losing my best friend now too.
Queenie, what to do?—Divorced and friendless
Dear Divorced,
Apparently you need some new friends. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, keep busy and focus on what is good in life.
Take some classes and/or get involved in other outside activities, particularly some that involve helping other people, like volunteering at the hospital or joining a community service group.
And pray that your friend does not meet the kind of disaster you did, if/when her boyfriend’s wife finds out about their affair (if she has not done so already) and he dumps your friend instead of his wife in an attempt to save his marriage.
Dear Queenie,
Recently my husband and I went out to dinner with another couple and all through the meal they complained about how expensive it was. Even the waitress could hear them. It’s not as if they couldn’t afford it. It was so embarrassing!
Queenie, should we say something to them about this or just not go out with them anymore?—Offended diner
Dear Offended,
It may be that this couple is not as well off as you think, or just more frugal than you are. Either way, there is nothing to be gained by talking to them about what happened, except to embarrass them.
In the future, choose a cheaper place to dine, or invite someone else to join you.
