Dear Queenie,
My best friend is married to a man who treats her like a queen when he is in a good mood, but when he’s in a bad mood he says nasty things in a mean tone of voice and gets on about little things and goes on and on and on.
I asked him not to talk to her that way, at least not when I am around, because it makes me feel bad and now he is mad at me and won’t even speak to me.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
Let your friend know – gently, please – what you think of her husband’s behaviour and that you are there for her when/if she ever needs you. Then arrange to spend time with her when her husband is not around.
Dear Queenie,
My sister’s children are quite fat, even though their parents serve healthy foods and are quite fit.
The problem seems to be that they let the kids eat whatever they want and as much as they want between meals – all sorts of junk food and candy and such. The parents make a lot of snarky comments about how much the kids weigh and how fat they are, but they don’t even try to control what the kids eat.
Queenie, I feel sorry for those children, but what can I do?—Worried uncle
Dear Uncle,
It is possible that what the children have is “baby fat” and will drop off when they reach puberty and go through a growth spurt, not to mention getting more interested in their appearance.
However, it would be better for them to learn good eating habits from young, so you could try talking to their parents about your concerns.
Dear Queenie,
My college reunion is coming up later this year. I was pretty wild in college, drinking and playing around a lot. Since then I have settled down and am raising a family and living a decent life. My wife knows all about how I was in college because she went to the same school.
We would like to go to the reunion and catch up with old friends, but there will be other people there that I would be embarrassed to see again.
Queenie, should we go or not?—Alumnus
Dear Alumnus,
By all means go and enjoy yourselves, and do not worry so much about your “wild” past. It is quite likely that the people you would be embarrassed to see again also will have settled down to changed lives.
Dear Queenie,
I am a beautician and my relatives and friends expect me to give them my professional services all the time at their homes and for free.
Queenie, how can I get them to stop asking me?—Imposed on
Dear Imposed on,
Grow some backbone and learn to say “no.”
Tell them it is impossible for you to do the work at their homes because it would mean carrying around too much equipment, so they should make an appointment to come to your place of business. Then, if they do, feel free to hand them a bill for your services and if they object, tell them you had to turn away a paying customer to accommodate them so you expect to be compensated for lost business.
Either they will pay up then and in the future or they will (eventually) stop asking you for favours.
Dear Queenie,
We have some friends who run a motel in New Jersey [in the United States – Ed.]. When they came to visit us a couple years ago they stayed with us. But when we went to the States to visit them last year they put us in a room at the motel and then charged us for it, even though they had other empty rooms to rent out. It’s not as if they lost business because we were there.
Now they are planning to visit us again and expect to stay with us.
Queenie, do you think this is right?—Feeling used
