Dear Queenie,

I’m in high school but my mother says as long as I live with her I am too young to go out on a date with a boy.

Queenie, other girls my age can have boyfriends. Why can’t I?—Old enough

Dear Old enough,

If your mother will not let you learn about dating and relationships with boys while you still live with her, how does she expect you to learn when you are on your own – through sad experience? That kind of knowledge does not come easily or automatically.

Will your mother at least let you go out in groups of boys and girls? That would be a good start.

If not, talk this over with some other trusted adult and ask him or her to intercede for you.

Dear Queenie,

My son hates to brush his teeth and the older he gets the less often he does it. Now he is in high school he has practically stopped. He is still on our insurance for dental visits so he goes a couple of times a year and the dentist has found a few problems like cavities and gingivitis and treated them but my son doesn’t seem to make a connection between his neglect and the problems.

Queenie, how can I get across to him how important this is?—Fed up

Dear Fed up,

Your son is in high school – has he not yet become interested in girls (or boys, as the case may be)? I am sure the first time someone he is interested in tells him how grossed out she (or he) is by his bad breath and funky teeth, your son will get the message loud and clear. Just pray it happens before it is too late for him to correct his problem(s)!

Dear Queenie,

I have a lot of friends but sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough to be part of the popular crowd.

Queenie, what’s wrong with me?—Depressed

Dear Depressed,

Probably nothing at all.

Instead of worrying about what you think is “wrong” with you, concentrate on what is “right” and on making it even better.

You might also talk over your fears with a trusted friend or a professional counsellor. If there really is any aspect of your personality that needs improvement, with help you also can work on that.

Dear Queenie,
The other day I got an e-mail from someone whose name I didn’t recognise that had attached a picture of my daughter in a very pornographic pose.
She broke up with her boyfriend recently and I suspect he is the one who sent it, though I can’t be certain.
Queenie, should I tell her about it? I don’t want to embarrass her.—Disturbed mother

Dear Disturbed mother,
YES, you should tell your daughter immediately, so she can take appropriate measures. There is no telling how many people this picture was sent to so far and once something like that gets out it is very difficult, if not impossible, to put a stop to it.
She may be embarrassed now, but think how much worse it will be if she finds out later on, after things have gone further – at a job interview, for example!