Dear Queenie,

My mother cheated on my father and they got divorced. Now she lives with the boyfriend she cheated on my Dad with and I live with them and visit my Dad whenever he is off from work.

I don’t like the boyfriend. He drinks too much. He’s nice enough when he’s sober, but when he drinks he gets abusive to both of us.

Mom is afraid to break up with him because he supports us and she couldn’t manage financially without him. I would rather live with my father, but then what would happen to Mom without me around?

Queenie, what can I do?—Trapped

Dear Trapped,

You mother’s life choices are her problem, not yours. If your father is willing to have you live with him, go for it!

Meanwhile, try to put your mother in touch with Safe Haven (office tel. 9277, 24-hour hotline 9333) for help in dealing with her abuser.

Dear Queenie,

Last year my wife gained a lot of weight so I suggested she might want to go shopping for some new clothes that she wouldn’t be busting out of. Instead she went on a diet and lost all that weight until her clothes fit her again.

The problem is she is still dieting and I’m afraid she is getting too skinny, but when I suggest that it’s time to quit the diet she gets mad and says if she does I will tell her how fat she is.

Queenie, what should I do?—Worried husband

Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend says I’m exactly what he wants in a wife except that I look like his mother.

I always heard men tend to marry women who remind them of their mother.

Queenie, what do you think he means and why is this a problem for him?—Confused

Dear Confused,

Before you go rushing out to have plastic surgery, you need to meet his mother.

Does he just mean you have a strong physical resemblance to a woman a generation older than yourself or are you actually that much older than your boyfriend?

Or does he have such a poor relationship with his mother that any slight resemblance, whether physical or behavioural, is a turnoff for him?

Once you have the answers to these questions you will have a better idea what his problem is and what, if anything, you want to do about it.

Dear Queenie,

My son is in high school. Most of his friends that he hangs out with are girls. He has some friends who are boys, but they are also friends with other boys my son doesn’t like very much, so he doesn’t hang out with them when they are with those other boys. Also, he isn’t into sports very much, he prefers reading and computer games.

Queenie, should I be worried about him?—Concerned mother

Dear Mother,

Some boys just are not athletic and do not like the kind of roughhousing other boys their age indulge in, so they feel less threatened in the company of girls.

I am glad to know your son likes to read as well as playing computer games, which can be addictive.

As long as he is happy and is doing well in school I don’t think you have anything to worry about.